Not There Yet

I think one of the things that I am still really struggling with overall is my perceptions of things versus reality.
I consider myself a pretty positive person.

But lately I am fighting a daily mental battle that is so strong I am having to daily remind myself that God is bigger.

I think a lot of it boils down to all the "down" time that I have had over this last year.
But I have noticed that it has gotten progressively worse in the last few months.
What do I attribute it to?

Marriage.

Now hang on... I did NOT say my husband.  I said marriage.  :O)

Hubs is super-duper. Didn't we cover that in an earlier post?

I think I shall call this syndrome the  "aren't things supposed to be perfect now?" syndrome.

When you've lived the first 36 years of your life as a singleton it is easy to build marriage (or just not being single) up into the perfect scenario.
Life will be all roses and candlelight if I can just find the man of my dreams.
I won't still struggle with self doubt when I have someone who has chosen to be with only me.
I won't still have self image issues when he finally gets here.

Ladies (and gents I suppose) that is a lie, lie, lie.
Issues you carry with you before you say "I do," you will carry with you after.

And some issues that you thought you had "fixed" will rear up their ugly little head again.
I remember reading somewhere that God didn't give us marriage to make us happy but to make us holy.
So lately I've been thinking a lot about that.
Remember in the Old Testament when something needed to be purified how they managed that task?
Water, blood or FIRE.

Numbers 31:2
everything that can stand the fire, you shall pass through the fire, and it shall be clean, but it shall be purified with water for impurity. But whatever cannot stand the fire you shall pass through the water.

Living life in intimate, daily contact with someone can be like walking through fire. It is definitely like walking through a spotlight. Little things can be big issues quick when someone else is always there.

Tonight, despite this seemingly depressing post,  :O) I bring hope.

The one who called you to the life you now lead is preparing you for the life that is to come.

He. Is. With. You. 
He won't leave you alone to sit and soak in your "issue" of the day.
He is with you right where you are at this second even if it is a purifying fire or a drenching downpour of grief.

Isaiah 43:2
 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.

Be encouraged if/when you are walking through the fire of purification or water.

Singed but blessed. :O)
-Gina