Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Who I am

How did it happen? Two weeks ago was Christmas 2005 or at least it seems that way.
So we're in the closing days of November and them whammo before I know it January will be here.
This has been a wild year. Somehow just when I think I have the hang of it, things change and I have to adapt again. God is definitely keeping me on my toes this year. If I were to name my year it would be the Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Someday maybe I'll get into that a little more. Just be assured this year has seen some of my highest highs today, but also at least one of my lower lows.
The best thing that I can say about this year. I learned without any doubt that God is here for me personally. I have spent a lot of sleepless nights lately. And in one of them I spent hours contemplating the following statement.
God loves me as if I were the only person on earth.
People say that makes me unique. Ok... by the definition of unique that cannot be true. If He loves me, but He also loves all his other kiddos, how does that make me unique?
I think many of us (I can say I do for sure) stuggle with who we really are in Christ. I think it is what allows so many of us to struggle over our very salvation. It seems an impossibility. I compare the deep, dark, dusty places in my soul to the happy persona that you put on and meet me with. So in comparison I seem like a pretty low human being.
As I laid awake that night I saw a picture in my head. We're all standing together at the foot of the cross. I am suddenly seeing us all from His perspective. You know what? He isn't looking at the dark, dusty places that I so often inspect. The cross was right in the way. When my Father looks at me he does see the uniqueness that makes me Ginabob. But He sees it through a filter now that I have been redeemed. The deep, dark places are still there to struggle with, but they have been whitewashed by the blood of Jesus Christ!
Do you see how AMAZING that is?
I get to be quirky Gina. I get to be the girl who loves cartoons and stupid movies. I get to be the girl who struggles with my identity and fights a daily (hourly, minute by minute) battle with sin. Sometimes I get to be questioning, whiny, and angry Gina.
But best of all... I get to be Gina - uniquely loved by God.
Whew. That's a thought to sleep on.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

Well it's finally the holiday season!! Yay. :)
This is by far my favorite time of year. This year is starting off a bit differently because I am on my own for the first time. I remember one Easter when I lived in Dallas that I stayed in D for the holiday and was super depressed. It was hard to be away from my family. I miss all 4 of my nephews and my little niece.
I miss them today, but I am not really depressed about it. I think I have had a roller coaster few weeks so this totally quiet environment is quite appealing.
So far I am 2 days into solitude and loving it. I cleaned and did laundry all day yesterday. Which typicially isn't my idea of fun. But getting some of the clutter gone is a great feeling. Chaos around me makes me anxious, but I still manage to let it pile!
So we start Thanksgiving in a great mood. I think my plan is still to soak everything in. Oh and maybe catch a movie.
Tomorrow is the big day, when my Razorbacks whip up on LSU. I dreamt last night that I had gotten tickets to the game. Man... here's wishing for that to happen.
Ok. I'm off to enjoy the day.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Waiting for Saturday

The buildup started after my Hogs whipped up on Auburn.
And it just keeps growing and growing every week!
So in just a few short days I will take my place in the bleachers for the last Fayetteville home game for this year. Might be my last game of the year. Or I might just have to catch a bowl game. :)
All this excitement is just wild.
I have two thoughts running around and around so I will just throw them out here.
1.) I cannot emotionally handle a close game. I don't do tense well!!!! So we better dominate first AND second halves this week.
2.) I cannot believe that I get to be at a game that ESPN Gamecenter is at! Wow. Talk about blessed.
I often reflect on the other season enders that I have sat through at this same stadium. Some of them have been rough to put it mildly.
But my first, and so far most exciting one, was against TN just a few years ago. Refreshing memories - we won... they tore down the goalpost... and I was right on the field.
Go Hogs - STOMP Tennessee