Thursday, June 17, 2010

Thursday - Unite!

Not much new, news to report.
I'm holding my own despite the fact that my stomach is hating on me again.
I am wondering if my inconsistency so far is the cause of this. When I eat junk my body has to detox a ltitle bit again causing me to feel like junk.
Need to remind myself that might be the case when I decide I need that junk again.
As for now I am back on target. See - Not.Giving.Up!

Today, well actually I think yesterday, I read a story by another lady in the blog-world who is on the journey.
It was hard for me to read. This link is to an older post of hers that had just come up on another blog.
When you are overweight you already feel like everyone is judging you.
So to hear of someone having to face that judging head on just made me angry.

Since I know some of you don't share that struggle I think I am going to take today to address this little issue.

You may think that the overweight person is somehow invisible or oblivious. But when you are making comments and/or snickering at them - they are perfectly aware.

Dealing with this issue for most of us has been a life long battle. If it was as easy as "put down the fork" we'd all be skinny-minnies. But there is much more going on. Much more is typically at stake.

While you know my story, or at least parts of it, you do not know everyone's story.

Keep in mind that the person you are talking about/too/behind is a living, breathing human being who has feelings. You do not know their struggle. You do not know their day.
Perhaps they are on an upswing and doing really well. That person that looks overweight to you may already be halfway through a loss and feeling proud of themselves. Today may have been the first day in their journey. They may (as my blogger friend above) have just walked a marathon on a bad knee and not been able to walk through the grocery store.

I will end by echoing what Lyn said the other day: Compassion is free!

You can be the person who encourages the hurting or you can be the person who heaps one more hurt on them.

What can you do?
I'll tell you what I do. When I see someone in my shape or worse I pray immediately. I pray that God would encourage them, heal them, and help them. When it's someone that I love I encourage them in positive steps and do my best not to derail their efforts.

What I don't do?
I don't say a word. UNLESS... unless... unless... I hear/see a situation like above.  I will be the one who tells someone in the above situation that they are outta line.

Be the light my friends.  You can do it.


Monday, June 14, 2010

Sometimes it is what you think it is

Well it's Monday.
Monday is my usual weigh-in day at the center but I am playing hookey today and waiting until tomorrow.
Yesterday I was feeling funky again (what is it with me and Sundays?! It's seriously frustrating).
Anyhoo... yesterday I was feeling funky again. And I have something about feeling funky = pizza.
I know right?!
So I decided it wouldn't hurt me too much. I'd been crazy good before that.
But that dang pizza - I'm thinking it may be the salt.
So since the scale saw a ridiculous not humanly possibly bump this morning, I delayed weighing.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow!  :O)

I find that I do much better with people than without. When I'm alone I can much more easily talk myself into the same old bad habits.

So that's yet another reason to be OUT and about more than sitting at home.

Meanwhile Jillian and I have temporarily parted ways while I try to figure out what happened to my leg. I'm afraid to work out on it while it hurts like this. I'm sure if Jill were here she'd tell me to buck up/suck it up in her ever so pleasant way.  :OP

Off to fight another day.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday Update - Things No One Tells You

It's Friday night.
Nothing significant about that necessarily, except that another week has passed. :O)
Once again I have to say that I am learning a lot about myself on this little journey.
I was reading somewhere the other day on another blog (wish I could remember which!) where the writer was talking about sabotaging herself when she started to see results.
I can relate.
In focusing a little bit on some of the things I notice trigger me... success on weigh in days is HIGH on the list.
When I went to the center this week I had lost more weight and inches (they measure once a month). They were proud of me. I was too, for about 6 hours. 
There are a lot of reasons for that. I am sure at some point on this journey I'll get into them, because I know some of you will relate.
Now is not the time for that little talk. I have some praying, reading, talking and walking still to do before I will feel free to discuss.
I think it's important though.
As for today, things are good. And yes I am back to "one day at a timing it," which may switch to "one hour at a timing it" any second now!
When I went to the MRC folks the other day one of the things they challenged me with was to not run from the bad days. Even when things aren't stellar - get on in there and talk.
I don't like to fail though... so that's kinda counter to my usual methods!
Change will mean realizing it's ok to not be 100% perfectly successful 100% of the time.
Hi, my name is Gina, and I'm a perfectionist.  :O)

Weight - down
Water - up
Sleep - sucky
Exercise - punishing (I told you Jillian hates me)

Gina - still in it for the long haul.

How are my peeps doing?  :O)

Monday, June 07, 2010


My heart is tender right now.

My heart is tender to lots of things just about all the time. Some things always move me to tears - weddings, hurting people, love, death - you get the picture.

But right now my heart is tender-er than normal (yeah - not great grammar).

I feel thin-skinned. It's not in a way that I am easily offended at things but in a way that seems like the slightest emotion can bruise me. The most innocuous conversation can bring me to tears.

My heart is just tender right now.

I've spent a couple of days trying to figure out what's at the root of where I am emotionally. It's not hormonal. It's not entirely situational.

I think I am on the edge of something huge because of all the things in life that just seem uncertain. In the middle of that I think that God is preparing my heart for new things and new growth.

The analogy that I keep thinking of in all this is how you tenderize meat: you beat the crap out of it. In the past year I have had situations and people that have done just that. People and situations in this past year have challenged me, broken me, and in some cases hurt me.
Being hurt is a part of life. Being hurt is a by-product of loving people.
I used the words "broken" and "brokenhearted" a lot this year.  Things that seem vital to my happiness have been, and still are, ultimately out of my hands. That leaves me feeling out of control. If you know me... out of control is not in my comfort zone of emotions.
I know that ultimately my happiness comes from my relationship with Christ. Really my joy comes from there and there are a LOT of joyful moments in my life.

I do a lot of celebrating too.

But my heart is tender right now.

While I think I may be rambling a bit I do have a point.

I'm on several journeys in my life.
I'm working hard to be healthy and lose weight.
I'm walking through new territory being totally in love with an incredible man that I've been dating for almost two years. Going from life-long singleton to a long-term relationship is a joy but definitely a challenge as well.
I'm daily working on my relationship with Christ and learning about grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
I'm daily working on my relationships with friends and family - trying to be a good daughter, friend, sister and aunt.
Right now a lot of blogging seems be focused on the weight-loss journey. While my weight doesn't define me it has influenced a lot of other areas in my life and I am working to change that. Since many of you are as well, I have chosen to fight this publicly in order to hopefully help you while I learn and struggle.

Possibly because I have been so open about it... it has added another tender spot in my heart.
I so wish that my emotions weren't this close to the surface right now. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I feel decidedly uncomfortable.

I am however, not giving up or in. I am pushing on. I am going to continue laughing, loving, screwing up, getting back up, apologizing when needed, crying when needed and living life.

Since we're in this boat together... I'll probably keep blogging too.  :O)
How are y'all doing?
I'd sure love to hear.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Vacation and Jillian Michaels

Well before it’s been a month… I needed to get back in here and update!
Let’s skip the diet portion of our day and talk about vacation. I’ll update on food and such later. Frankly I don’t think I’m in the mood to talk about it today - and maybe not tomorrow. Oh, except to say that even though she doesn’t KNOW me, I am certain Jillian Michaels hates me. No one who loved me would treat me like she does in the Shred workouts.
Now - on to vacation!

I had one.
The end.  :O)

Just kidding.

I just got back from Florida with my traveling buddies Tina and Tracie.

We had a bunch of fun.

I got a sunburn.
We went deep sea (ocean really) fishing.

We made idiots out ourselves in front of state park signs.

We had a bunch of fun.

I came back tan(er) and remembered that I look better with a tan. However since I don’t particularly like the heat it’ll probably fade by July.  :O)

The End.