Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Dreaded Binge

I let some time slide before I wrote about this. Mostly I did that because I wanted some perspective but I also didn't want to use it to condemn myself. I wanted to analyze what happened and see if I can make some mental and emotional connections for the how and why.

A week ago Monday - 8 days ago - I had my weigh in with measurements. I had lost 10 lbs total and 15 inches overall (legs, chest, hips, etc.). It was an incredible result that got me an "atta girl" from the consultant. I felt GREAT, for a bit.

On weigh in days (since I'm down there) I always get a chicken salad from Chick-Fil-A. It's close and easy to get and head back to work.

But for some reason after weigh-in that morning I instead struggled. And the ending choice from the struggle was a Sonic burger with fries. Lunch... Sonic.  Dinner... started with something (I actually can't remember what) and ended hours later with Dominos.
In the course of those two meals I hit my calories for DAYS.

The question I was left with at the end of it was why?
What could have caused me to mindlessly eat after all I've learned??

I actually have no idea! The psychologist in my wants to analyze the crud out of it. Am I sabotaging myself? Was there a trigger there that I missed?

At the time, and now days later, I still can't find it.
Which scares the crap out of me!
Part of this journey is changing habits but ALL of it is about changing me. How do I change something that I can't identify?

Things I do know:
You don't change overnight.
I got RIGHT back up on the "horse" the morning after such a terrible day.
I'm at 8 days now completely ON plan. FYI - a record for me. :O)
I don't have to understand. I just have to file this one away to watch out for in the future.
You don't change overnight.

Well there's your Tuesday info - maybe more than you wanted to know. But it's so important for me to put the good and bad out here. Because if you don't see both then I'm not really helping anyone, including myself.

We can do this!


Sunday, May 09, 2010

Sunday update - Proud of Myself!

Week 3ish saw everything CLICK!  I got all my water and exercise. I ate what I needed no matter what (see below)! 

13 lbs down

This weekend combination has been one I've been worried about for a while!
Friday night = eating out with friends
Saturday = Worldfest at Branson (mmm funnel cakes)
Sunday = Mother's Day

It's all my triggers in ONE WEEKEND!  :OP

Guess what?

I didn't cave. I didn't eat a sandwich on Friday night... didn't eat anything off my plan. I didn't eat crazy on Saturday at Silver Dollar City. Even when I panicked a bit I was able to remember advice from a friend and ask to have something prepared completely differently then what was available.  And they discounted it because I was asking for something WAY simpler then they charged for. WOO! :O)

Even exhausted and face to face with yummy, sweet, good stuff I didn't cave. And that has never, in my lifetime, ever happened under those circumstances!!!!

Enter Sunday, today, which I was most certain would get me. It's the dreaded by many childless and/or single women - Mother's Day. Frankly it is a day that I almost always miss church... baby dedication, mother's recognition... painful. I'm happy for so many others, especially my new mom friends!!! But it can be a hard day.
I was fairly certain that the emotion of the day was going to win out because missing church is not an option so I was going to get the full barrel day.
But. It. Did. Not!

It didn't hit me until I started singing it, but our opening song was worded straight from Him to me. I was on Praise Team again so it hit me with mic in hand! God is always faithful to provide exactly what we need, exactly when we need it!

So I leave you today with my message from today. God has not forgotten you, no matter where you are or what you face. He is going to use you. I'm counting on God!

I'm in a fight not physical
And I'm in a war
But not with this world
You are the light that's beautiful
And I want more
I want all that's Yours

Joy unspeakable that won't go away
And just enough strength
To live for today
So I never have to worry
What tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock
I am counting on God

I am counting on
I am counting on God

Tuesday, May 04, 2010


So Brent Riggs is hosting a "Where did you get your nickname from?" Linky, and it seems like a good time to answer an actual FAQ!

How in the world did I get the nickname "Ginabob?"

People from all ranges of my past still call me that name. But where did it start?

It started in highschool.

We were doing a project (don't judge me for the upcoming stereotype ok? :O) on the Vietnamese relocation to Ft. Chaffee.  We kept interviewing people whose last names were spelled all different ways, but were always pronounced "winn." Some of these names had no letters that could, at least in our minds, justify the pronunciation.

So we decided that we would rename each other.  My name was "Bob" spelled G-I-N-A.

By the end of the project several friends called me Bob which morphed by college to be GinaBob.  Years later - it has stuck!

That actually was my second nickname.  The first being (thanks to my brother Gem) "froggy." He still calls me "froggy" most of the time and he tries to get his kiddos to call me Aunt Froggy. This is all due to the fact that I am ridiculously double-jointed and used to sit/sleep a bit weirdly growing up. 

Side bar - don't do that... or let your kids do that... because it will accelerate their inevitable knee problems in later life from being double jointed.  :O)   End side-bar.