Monday, March 30, 2009

So Good

God is so faithful... and for that, and much more, I am thankful.


If today was summed up in one word… and I was honest about that word… it would be anger. Hi, my name is Gina - I am angry.

Frankly I’m a little angry that I am angry. There are people with serious life-altering horrendous problems that put anything I can even come up with to complain about to shame.

But still my word for today is anger.

Somehow today has me feeling like Shempy’s Freak Circus passed me by - and I so shoulda hopped on board. Cause I just don’t belong here.

Some days I just feel like an imposter. Things should be better than this. I should be past this. I should be able to just put this aside. See the bigger problem is that I am not better than this emotion and I am SO no past it.

So tonight is a struggle. Tonight I think will end with tears. I gotta think that an honest cry out to God is just all a girl has (well that and blogging - how self-absorbed am I?) For some reason I benefit from reading when other people struggle. I guess maybe I think someone can benefit from this - OR that I can benefit from it later.

What led to this? Lots of things - change, no change, crazy people making today their day in my life, answers, no answers, and a lot of little stuff that has me baffled

I want to be able to pinpoint one thing. Because if I could do that, I would stop mentally blaming people who really have NO idea that they are on my list tonight! Maybe if I could check the “you are responsible” box I could let everyone else off the hook. Alas that ain’t happening.

So tonight - on the next to last day of the third month of 2009 - I am angry.

I really only have one place to go… so I go there now… and leave you with this:

Ephesians 6:12 (The Message)

A Fight to the Finish
And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

For my three loyal readers...

I just felt like there needed to be something new here. So... I ramble on!
Spring seems to be here definitively this time. I am ready I suppose - my allergies are NOT!

Something about spring always sets me in a chipper mood. Today I was almost obnoxiously walking the halls singing Zipadee Doda! :) I think it is the end to the bleakness that always defines winter.

But today it dawned on me that Spring, more than any other season, is about new beginnings. It is new birth from death. How appropriate is that for Easter to fall in Spring?!

Unlike many, many people I am a fan of change. I say that a lot but lately am realizing that I am a fan of MY change, not necessarily other's changes. I love spring because you get to see the old dead trees turn to pretty new buds. It's fresh, new, and alive.

I guess that is how I feel tonight. I feel fresh and new. God is so gracious to work with us through our winters. Some of them are so long that they seem never ending. But spring is always just around the corner. And I am in spring. This year has already seen some incredible changes in my life and in me personally. Change is good! I cannot wait to see what He has planned for this next chapter.

God is good. What a blessing to never be stuck in any one season for more than He has designed - that is in nature and in life!


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Reasons I'm thankful to be living in 2009

So lately, with all the doom and gloom stuff we are surrounded with, I've been finding myself wondering what it would have been like to live in the past.

Frankly - LOST's little time traveling antics helped me along on this.

Over my life I've often thought that I should have lived in a different time. I just don't "get" the world we live in in so many different ways. The thought lately has been that we are possibly getting ready to experience a different time due to economic downturn... crazy disaster... mutant ninjas taking over. You know, the usual things!

So here are some things that I am thankful for that I would NOT have had in 1940.

Facebook - WOO!
Cell Phone
Most likely - not my own apartment
Most likely - not be getting my MDiv
The ability to see my brother in the frozen north in just a few hours travel.
The ability to see my brother and fam digitally on a web cam
The ability to make a quick little drive down the hill to see my other brother, mom/dad, and rest of the fam.
My laptop and the world it brings here to me

Well there is a short and mostly geeky tip of the iceberg.
The talk I keep having is my little Pollyanna "it's going to be ok" speech. I know a lot of people think it's crazy but I am determined to believe it. Even if the world goes to pieces tonight while we sleep I will still love and be loved. I have amazing friends and family. I have Christ! That means that I have everything.

Good thought to leave on!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

I amaze myself

Now I bet you're thinking I'm about to brag on some amazing gift I have right?

I'm amazed at my inability to follow my own advice! Ever notice how much easier it is to be the sage voice of wisdom than to be the follower of that wisdom?

I'd share - but my first self advice that I am going to take is to make myself go to sleep!