Wednesday, February 29, 2012

It is... what it is.

This seems to be my theme phrase so far this year.
Starting out January 1 I had no idea that things would be so drastically different on March 1.
But here we are. It is what it is.
Things are not bad on the grand scale of life.
They just aren't. When I look around at so many things in this world I still feel very fortunate.
I have a lot of people asking me to write again.
I just can't seem to get there.
I'm going to try to do better.
This year I definitely need physical healing. But I also need some spiritual and emotional fixing up as well.
So I am going to be thankful that the one thing I do have an abundance of at the moment is time.
Time to focus on where God is leading over the next few months.
Time to plan a WEDDING!
Time to heal physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Time is something that I won't always have. I really want to take full advantage of it for all that's ahead.
I think I'm rambling, :O) , but hey - it is, what it is!

Signing off for now. Nothing profound here. Move along.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Sometimes I Still Think I Can Run

It hit me today when I was in the doctor's office waiting for him to come in.
I just wanted to run down the hallway to the next appointment.
I wanted to just get up and run. I wanted to run.
Sometimes, I still think I can run.
I can actually forget that many days find me almost unable to walk.

My friend Jeniffer shared a blog this week that pegs where I am right now. I'm not all better.

I had high hopes of blogging more this year. Maybe I can get to that. I've just not had anything I wanted to say. Frankly I've been trying to process the last few months.
Today it hit me why.

When I chose my "One word" for 2012 it came much later than usual. For the first time ever that I can remember it was sparked by something someone else said (my mother). Then the very next morning it was in my quiet time.

Those of you who have kept up with me this past year know that it has been physically very trying.
I have two bad discs in my back - one that bulges out often (due to a tear in it's protective layer) and one that just hates me. :P

I was on disability for 3 months last year. This January has seen me go back on disability for the foreseeable future. No more job. No more church except online. A whole lotta isolation.

My word for 2012 - healing. I believe that this year will see me regain my health.
That can be hard to believe on days like today when the pain is so intense and steady.
But I believe it.

2012 - HEALING

When I count my blessings on 1/1/2013 they will include my new husband (seriously!!!), a year full of change & learning, and healing.
I believe it now even through the tears and pain.
God will heal me this year.
I'm. Ready.