Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In Which She Realizes it is Tuesday... not Monday

Summer is fast approaching, which means lots of work in the mission ministry. It is great. We get to work with new folks (interns which I usually call minions). We get to get out into the community more. Lots of things happen in ministry during the summer.

This year we have a neat opportunity with two adult interns instead of college students. I have loved every summer with our students. This is just a totally new deal. It will be interesting to see what God does.

First up is our big Kidapalooza Festival.

Wait - getting off my topic at hand. Yesterday, aka, Monday passed harmlessly for a Monday. I suppose that should have been my first clue today would be "special."

Today was not a bad day. It was just a weird day complete with a dreaded doctor's appointment that offered me so-so news, kinda cruddy news, and sarcasm. Good times! :OP

Anyhoo - thought I would take this day to update and say howdy. All things good come to those who wait. Those who wait patiently may not get things faster, but they do seem happier in the mean time.

That's my advice for the day.

Oh - that and the fact that it is Tuesday, not Monday. Let that be a lesson for you. Unless it's tomorrow - then it is Wednesday... don't get confused!

Friday, May 15, 2009


I've been inspired lately by the Compassion Blogger trip to India.
I have been a compassion sponsor for years. Long enough now that I cannot actually remember when I started.
I do, remember the moment when I first saw Grace. :)

For years I have been saying something to the effect of "God's going to call me to Tanzania." It started when I was 16 and first felt God's call to mission work. I just knew Tanzania was special, way before I had any clue where it was.

So a few years back I was sitting in a Compassion concert locally. Somewhere in the concert they passed out the folios that have compassion kids that needed a sponsor. I raised my hand and was given a "random" child.

Grace - from Tanzania. If I'd had any doubts about sponsoring, it left me that second.

I love Compassion because I get to watch Grace grow. I get letters with drawings, pictures and updates. I have seen her family.

If you have ever thought about this, or maybe haven't thought about it, I encourage you to go for it.

$32 a month makes a huge difference for these children AND their families.

I promise you will not be the same.

Grace and her grandma

Thursday, May 14, 2009

In Which the Clock Stands Still

Yeah... so life right? Crazy...

I think today it's best to just make a list. I'm all about lists. Like many of my borderline OCD friends I love, love, love checking things OFF of lists. I also love things in three's, but that is off topic.

I call myself a frustrated perfectionist. I know that I can't get things where I want them so I give up. :) The end result is a mess.

Lately that seems to be life - messy.

It's ironic to me, because things are pretty good. I finally graduated with my BS in Psychology. I'm about 2/3 of the way through my Master of Divinity. My apartment (other than puddles the wonderdog and the person who always parks inches from my driver's side door) is a cozy little place of happiness.

I'm almost at 9 months of dating a great guy who is Godly, wise, witty, and cute (:OP). <---- should have gone for all "w's" huh?

Things are good. Things are actually really good.

So why in the world would I say things are messy? Cause they are!

I told you that I am a frustrated perfectionist. Life is tough for those of us who need things perfect. I like order. I like knowing that things are happening on schedule, my schedule that is!

Life is just not on my schedule these days.

Over the last year I decided to talk God into my timetable on a few things. I have my list you know, and things are not being checked off of it promptly.

The more list checking (or non-checking off) I did, the more frustrated I became.

Frustration leads to some ugly cycles. The more out of control we feel, the more we try to control. Surely there is something I can take on. God doesn't want it all right? Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Sheesh!

I'd like to proclaim today my official "hands off" day. I want to say that I am throwing my little lists away and letting go... letting God. I just know me a little bit better than that. :O)

What I will say is that I am going to dig in a little harder. Not my heels digging in while I try to get what I want. As much as I know that I cannot control, I also know that I can't even stop trying to control without His help.

So it's me and Him, together, taking on my mess.

Ahh life... crazy right?


Monday, May 11, 2009

In Which She Waxed Poetic on Mother's Day

It's funny how you can be genuinely happy in one sense and sad at the same time about the exact same thing.
Mother's Day is one of those days. Once you start hitting certain numbers birthday wise you get a bit sentimental about milestones. I guess it is partly because we tend to gauge our lives by the people around us.

One couple gets married right out of high school or college; starts having kiddos; buys a house and settles in for life.

One couple gets married quickly after school and tries for ten years to have children. When God provides, it isn't the way they expected. But their little bundle of joy adds something priceless to their lives and his/hers.

A young person hears the call to go into mission for God in a far-off land. He knows this most likely means he will not marry, but goes in obedience.

A older person never hears the call to remain single, but never hears the call to marry. So she waits.

And there are so many stages in between.

As I faced yesterday I could not help measuring life in those around. We're all in stages aren't we?

Some are waiting for their life to begin - graduations are all over the place this month.

Some are waiting on new life to begin - pregnancies and new little ones abound these days.

There are engagements and possible engagements. There are those who are waiting on God with hope and those who wait with no hope. There are regrets over lost moments and moments taken in haste. There is divorce, death, uncertainty, loss... so many stages.

Yep. There are a lot of stages.

When yesterday came it caught me entirely by surprise. I think I am a good "waiter."
32 years old and single you get used to asking, expecting and waiting for God. I know its not a single-only deal. But it seems like that particular pool of people is much larger these days. So it stands to reason that the numbers are not in the favor of the "every pot has a lid" camp.

Not everyone who desires marriage will get it. Not everyone who desires to have children will. Not everyone who prays desperately for their marriage to hold together or their child to live will see the answer as they hoped.

Whew - depressing huh?

Well since we know my word for 2009 is JOY you know I'm not leaving us there right?

Back to yesterday... I couldn't face it. Cause I'm all about gut-wrenching transparency these days I will be the first to stand up and admit that baby dedication was not where I could be yesterday. I did try. I really did.

Honestly I can say that I am THRILLED beyond belief for the answers I see around me. One friend tried for so long to have a baby with miscarriage after miscarriage, but God provided this past year with an adorable little answered prayer. One friend waited for the hubby and the baby and this was her year to.

I see it. It gives me hope. That is true. We're called to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Each of those times have their easy times and hard times.

I try to never be about feeling sorry for myself. It just does no good. It's time wasted but it's tough to avoid sometimes. Sometimes you are willing to hand things over to God.

Sometimes you grip those dreams hard - death grip hard.

Have you ever held something in your hand, with all your might for a long time?

It doesn't take long when you grip something like that for your hand to start to weaken. So you grip harder and it becomes even harder and harder to hold on to.

If you made it to the end of this post, perhaps it is because you are a gripper. You are desperately holding on to something that you want. While in reality the harder you grip the less of a hold you have.

My suggestion isn't to give up your dream. God is all about dreams. He is all about hope.

Mostly - He is all about you holding on to Him. So is your dream taking His place? Does it have a life of its own? Where are your thoughts? Are they on Him or on the thing/person/place/status that you just have to have?

Just a priority check because when God hits me with a 2 x 4 I like to at least try to spare someone the headache.

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.