Tuesday, February 26, 2013

All That I Have To Say

I keep thinking of things that I want to update here... mostly on break/lunch at work.
But by the time I can actually post they are gone.
Maybe I should be taking a notebook around with me again.  :O)
In the meantime let's see what I can come up with to update you a little bit.
Things around me just seem a little strange lately. I'm having a lot of "is this really my life?" moments. I don't know how to explain them really. I had gotten so used to life as it was in the past.
I knew how to do life as it was.
Life, as it is now, is super good. But I don't know how to take it.
I think it is very probable that not a single person will understand that statement.
But it's where I am.
It hit me today while I was walking back to my desk at work. Life is just good. It's plain old good.
It's dang-near carefree.
And I really don't know how to handle that.
It's not that things are perfect.
On the contrary there are a few pretty big "God" things that I am praying on right now.
There are some situations happening right now that I need Him to move in. He has to step into them.
I've done everything that I can do and I literally would do harm trying anything else. These are situations where I must wait, watch, pray, and hope.
But those situations stem from an answered prayer that still blows me away.
It's true that our journey of faith involves steps that build upon each other. I am waiting with confidence today because of the answered prayers of yesterday.
Does that make the waiting easy?
I'd be lying if I said yes to that.  :O)
But does it make it easier... yes.
And that is something in itself.

Patiently (sometimes at least) Waiting

Monday, February 11, 2013

100 Pounds in 7 months

Sorry I'm a bit delayed in getting this posted.  :)
I finally hit the 100 pounds lost mark on January 26th.
I'm actually 2 pounds lighter than that now.  Less than 25 to go until goal - which is insane to type!
I think this is going to be long. So I'll put the stuff you probably came to see up front. :)
But I also wanted to give some thoughts on where I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually at this point in the journey.
First up - a few pictures!
This is my most recent picture. It was taken yesterday at a little get-together to meet my friend's newest little bundle Rowan (isn't he precious?).
This is the first picture I can remember in a long time where I didn't pick out a single thing I didn't like. I think it helps that my companion is so stinking cute!

Meanwhile we had an incredibly long day and I got to go through all of it pain free. Bonus!

These next few pics are  my official "100 Pounds Lost" pictures. They were taken by my friend Becky in the dressing room of a store that shall remain nameless here. I think I'm going to go back and get this blue dress the second it goes on sale and maybe the purple one too!

Trying on clothes is almost enjoyable again. This little shopping trip did net me some painful days. But now that I know carrying around clothes for that long can be a trigger to back pain, I'll just take along a pack mule... or a cart maybe. :)

So now that we have dispensed with some pictures let's chat a bit about what life is like.
Things are different. At 8 months (tomorrow!) post-op I can eat almost anything I want. I'm still following the rules pretty closely right now. But nothing is truly off limits. There are still some things that I know will make me sick but avoiding them is a good trade off for what I have gained!

Right now I'm starting to think about the changes that I want to make in my life to keep the weight off long term.  I think that probably will get itself a separate post sometime soon.

Unfortunately, due to my insurance lapse with the job situation, I missed my 6 month checkup with Dr. Roller. But I get insurance back very soon and his office will be my first call!
The key to the follow up visits is the support but also the lab work to see where my levels are right now. At my 3 months I was very deficient in some areas. I think things have changed for the better because the symptoms that went along with it are gone.

I still struggle with how I see myself. I've read a lot of other blogs and message boards and that seems to be common. I have no idea what size I actually am.
I struggle to go into the normal sizes section in the store. I actually have this sense that other women are looking at me and are like "shouldn't you be in the plus size section?" Which is insane. But it's where I am with my mindset.
The other day my friend handed me pants to try on. I didn't even look at them. Once I had them on she said "those,  my friend, are size 12. They fit perfectly.
I've never worn size 12 pants. Never, ever. When I started this whole deal my "go-to" pants were a size 26. From a 26 to a 12 in 7 months - unreal!

Emotionally there is also still a struggle right now. Food was my coping choice for a long, long time. Life without that immediate release is different. Finding new ways to deal has been a challenge for sure.

Well this got long fast. So I am going to stop here.
I'm going to do my best to not go another month in between posts and get back to at least once a week.