Tuesday, April 20, 2010

When Life Happens

One words sums up the last few days quite nicely - difficult!

I won't go into the specifics of why for various reasons. Let's just say that sometimes even after all the waiting I've done in my life, I still don't "wait well" when it comes to hard days. Hope is good... but long term hope can just be a painful thing some days/weeks. Even other folk's happy news can end up as a painful stab in those times. And when said week includes a ridiculous wave of other people's "happy" sometimes it gets tough to work up a good response.

So I have cried and prayed. I have ranted a bit with some of my gal-pals. I so, so love that my friends get me as well as they do. I love that we can laugh the grumpy away without even saying much - and with each other completing sentences for the other one!  :O)

In the 'difficult' I learned another important thing. It involved me taking a fall and then picking myself up and starting again.

I'm an emotion-eater. That's not news. I dropped that bombshell in the beginning right?
What I learned this week is that one seemingly simple thing can start a chain reaction that ends with me overloading on carbs and sugar.  And when you compound the simple things together they can easily become one ugly dark cloud... the end of which seems obviously to be (oh random example) food from Taco Bueno and a Reese's Blast from Sonic.

About halfway through said carb/sugar binge I felt ill and actually could not continue.
It wasn't just the food that was making me sick. It was the realization of what was happening = choosing food over dealing with the "difficult."
After weeks on a great diet, that sugar/carb binge makes you sick.  THEN you wake up feeling crappy too. Ok so this may be obvious - but it's here in black and white to remind ME!!!!

In days gone by a bad day always, always equaled a bad week. The week was blown in my old brain so I could just continue to slough off until Monday.
This morning - I got right back on. (Pats self on back)

Things are going to happen. Things are not going to go the way I want them too all the time. I am re-programming Y-E-A-R-S of one response always being my go-to. It will not be easy. But half the battle is identifying the problem.

Next.  :O)


that.one.girl said...

Yay! So proud of you.

Gina said...

Thanks girl! :O)