Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Heart Stuff and a check-in

So something that I learned about myself early on in life that is important to know is that I am a burden-bearer.
What do you mean by that Gina?

I think it's the counselor's heart within me. I attract hurting people and they often (even without knowing me long) spill deep dark hurts out to me. I think sometimes even they are amazed at what they have just told me. I've seen that look a lot: "why did I just say that?" or "I've never told anyone that." Those are common themes in my conversations and have been for a long time.

Well duh - that is why I am getting my MA in Counseling... so I can counsel!  So it's a good thing that people feel comfortable with me and sharing with me.

But what I've learned over these last probably 5 years or so is that in being a burden bearer I often find myself with loads of burden and no where to go.
When you are the person that people tell their problems to, who do YOU tell your problems to?

Now I know that my Christian friends and I have the obvious answer for that. And I do take them right where they need to go.

If you give me a problem and I carry it, I carry it directly to Him. But man sometimes it is hard to leave it there.

Oh - sidetrack there - sorry!  :P

What I learned about myself is that I tend to stuff my own problems inside because I don't want to burden someone else!  Some of you aren't going to believe that because I share way much... I over-share.  I hear the word "transparent" used to describe me a lot.

But you wanna know something crazy? You can be transparent without actually being completely transparent!!

I have my line of where you can see and where you cannot see and for years no one crossed it.

A few years back God brought two very Godly and wise people into my life who ripped the fire outta my lines and barriers. They forced me to be down and dirty honest.  Oh thank God for people who don't take happiness at its face value all the time and aren't afraid to dig into the deep things.

Life has not been the same.

I still struggle with the line sometimes. No I will not spill every deep dark secret I have onto the internet for anyone and everyone. But yes there are a small handful of people who know me down to the U-G-L-Y and I am blessed to call them friend.

What about you? Remember, when you hide you live in bondage to the thing you are hiding. Satan loves secrecy because he can use it as a constant weapon.

Come out of the shadows with me. Live in the Sonshine - it is absolutely spectacular!

I have done so much better this week!  With the exception of one off meal I have done exactly what I should including insane amounts of water and (SOB) no caffeine!!!  :O) 
I feel great and (she says proudly) I've finally started losing again. 8 lbs down!

Keep at it people.  We can do this together.



Amelia said...

Awesome Gina! So very happy for you! I needed to hear this tonight. Thank you. Love Amelia