Monday, March 01, 2010

Ebenezer

I was positive that I had written about this before but I cannot find it anywhere.
So I'll mark my night/week/month/year by marking my ebenezer stone here on the blog.
Well - it's already in my journal... this is just maybe something for someone else.
You know I always say I hate to waste a lesson so that's why I share!  :O)

1 Sam 7:12
Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us."

I really don't remember the first time I heard this analogy. I have a feeling it was Beth Moore, cause Beth is just like that! But it's a term I have used many times since the first time I heard it.

For me an Ebenezer is a marker in my life when God does something that is so astounding/profound that I have to put down some stones for posterity and say "Up to this moment, God has helped me."

It's a reminder of where I've been. I can pick up some of those markers (and some are actual physical rocks!) and I can know that God has been there with every step.

Ebenezer - Up to this moment, God has helped me.

I started to write a very different blog tonight but somewhere in the middle of it God just came down and I pulled away for a few hours. Because when God speaks I hope I always drop it all and listen.

Ebenezer

It's no secret. I've blogged it. I've tweeted it. I've facebooked it. I've talked about it with the people I love.
I have just felt broken, brokenhearted. A lot goes into that personally.
I have no doubt that I am His child. But God has in many ways seemed silent for a while in some key areas.
I was a bit angry about that. I needed a word, but no word seemed to come. So I went silent too. Two can play this bit.
I wrote a few weeks ago about fearing becoming Marah (bitter) and wanting to be Hephzibah. Still there was silence and brokenness.
And instead of retreating IN... I moved a little further away.

Tonight I revisited some of the old stones - Ebenezer.
There are places I remember, ugly places where God pulled me through. Ebenezer
There are joyful places where God revealed and I joyfully danced. Ebenezer
There were painful places where God gently led me and healed me. Ebenezer
There is a place - where God showed up and no one could doubt that something miraculous had happened.
Ebenezer
Ebenezer
Little markers to God's faithfulness.
Am I really doubting now that He is good and He does what is good? Am I really focusing on myself when His holiness and faithfulness have been my shield for so many years? Am I really arrogant enough to think that I can pick up just fine here now thankyouverymuch and do it by myself?

So I have wrestled with the brokenhearted-ness this time and come back again to the fact that "Up to this moment, God has helped me."

Tonight I have marked another ebenezer stone because, while I still have no answer I have a promise and I will hold it in my heart.

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
       and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Ebenezer

2 comments:

Eric Upton said...

This is the first I can recall hearing of this stone. What powerful markers they are.

I think I'll reflect today, and find where mine are.

Your openess and writing astounds me! Thanks for sharing!

Gina said...

Thanks for the encouragement Eric!