Monday, October 29, 2012

I Really Cannot See It

Well, now seems like as good a time as any to address something that keeps popping up.
The other day when I posted my progress pics I realized how much I had changed.

In that post I mentioned that I do not see it in the mirror. If you've ever had a weight problem or an eating disorder this will ring very true with you. However, if you have not really struggled in this area, it may not have made sense.

As of this day, when I look in the mirror I still see every single pound that I have lost as still there.
83 pounds are gone. But they still reflect back for me.
It can be so discouraging.

I grab new clothes when I hit the stores and I never, ever chose the right size.  They look too small.
I have no concept of the change that has taken place.

That is pretty typical.

Thank God for online support groups where people who have gone through this journey can help each other out. If it weren't for them, I would think I was seriously disturbed.

Objectively I know that I have changed. I really cannot see it though. My mind has not made that adjustment.

Some day I believe that it will.
Until then, I will look at the pictures taken along the way.

I thank God for Dr. Roller and his incredible team. I thank God for the changes taking place in my life.

Some day my head will catch up.

Until then, I will do the best I can to see myself as changed.

-Skinny Minny  :O)