Thursday, August 27, 2009

Things Normal People Would Never Tell You

So today I decided to start blogging some of my “only Gina” stories. Cause I always think that people know these things then realize that you don’t! :O)

We all know I tattle on myself anyways.

My family calls this particular epic the “Water Bottle Incident”

I was traveling from Colorado Springs back to Fayetteville by myself in February a few years back. The month is only important in that it was cold and I had a heavy winter coat on in addition to a purse and a carry-on bag.
The other important thing to note in this story is that I had bought a large liter water bottle in the airport that I was carrying around with me.

Now we also all know that when you are traveling by yourself you have to keep everything with you at all times. You can’t go leaving your bag somewhere when you need to go grab a magazine or something.

You also cannot leave your bags or say your gigantic water bottle somewhere when you have to go to the restroom.

So when nature called and I answered I had to be a little creative.

I get in the little airport stall with the purse, backpack, heavy coat, and water bottle and proceed to start to find space for everything so I can… ya know… do what needs to be done.

Coat off - backpack on the hook - but what to do with the water bottle? There is no shelf for the water bottle. There is however the handy toilet paper dispenser. Sure it’s round but certainly it’ll balance for a bit right?

Wrong - very, very wrong.

More important things that everyone needs to know.

1. When setting something round on top of something round, chances are that it will not stay put for very long even if it looks well balanced.

2. Bottles of liquid very rarely fall straight down.

3. Bottles of liquid, especially plastic ones, tend to explode when hitting tile.

4. Law of Gina says that when said bottle of liquid hits the floor and explodes it won’t do it in a convenient place… like in its own stall.

5. Law of Gina also says that the person next to you in the stall will in fact have pants down… but this will at least save maintenance from mopping the floor later.

Dear Woman Next to me in the St. Louis Airport Bathroom,
While I do not know you I have felt badly for you for years. No words can express my look and gasp of horror on watching an entire liter of water soak you as you innocently sat doing your… shall we say… business that afternoon in February. Sure I should have said something more than “oooh…oooh… sorry.” Certainly, I might have come out of the bathroom earlier than an hour later, but let’s face it, embarrassed doesn’t really cover a moment like that. I did look for you - the lady with the completely wet pants. Cause yeah - you just pulled up and left - how did you manage that anyways? I didn’t even hear the blower going to dry you off?
Sorry - I got distracted. While I cannot make up for your discomfort, you did give my good friend Crystal the perfect idea for a new line at Hallmark the “Sorry - I wet your pants” line. I think it will take off like gangbusters in airports. Seriously this has to have happened to someone else? Well - me and the lady who dropped her gun in the bathroom and shot the woman next to her.
Come to think of it - waters not all that bad huh?
Again - sorry

Betsy Wetsy


KBeau said...

Oops. I did a blog post once on the Pitfalls of Public Potties. Maybe I need to add "no shelf for the liter bottle of water."

Gina said...

lol! Exactly it could come in very handy. :O)