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Many nights in this past year I would describe my heart and soul as raw.
Spiritually it's been a blank period for me.
I've barely journaled.
I've only been able to attend church regularly online.
It's a dry period.
And the place I find myself in right now I think is best described by one word:
Tender
I know why some of these places are tender. But not what to do with them.
When you have a broken arm (or screwed up back) you can easily tell people - Ouch - don't touch.
When your heart is tender it's not that easy to protect.
I find myself in a place I do not like.
I'm touchy about things that are in these tender spots.
Yet I cannot share with the world what they are in words.
Dreams not realized
Hopes just out of reach.
Painful absences... that do not make my heart fonder towards anything.
I resist the urge to cry out when that tender place is touched.
Those who are doing the wounding have no idea what their words have done.
They have no reason to. They cannot see the broken places.
Tonight I find myself reaching up and asking for God to begin to bind even the places I am unaware of right now.
Even if physical healing never comes, I realize the spiritual healing needed may be that much more desperaate.
But I believe that both healings are possible and are future.
Change - It was my word at the beginning of 2011. It is my word here at the close.
Please God, let none of these days be wasted.
Let the tender places be healed.
Monday, November 28, 2011
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2 comments:
And then some of us act like nothing hurts and we don't care...but it's all the same isn't it? If there weren't tender places in need of protection, there would be no need for the tough act, either. Good words today.
These words go straight to my heart. I have a tender place, too, that hurts when touched. God is bigger than our hurts, though. I am believing He is healing the tender places.
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