Thursday, October 22, 2009

Why in the WORLD Can't I....

I keep thinking that eventually I will get the hang of things or that things will start to make sense.
It's a weird feeling to feel so much like you have things together one minute and then realize - wow I'm a big ole dork the next.

I guess - such is life. In looking back over things you realize that it is rarely good to look back over things.  :P
Or something like that!

I think my introspective side is part of what gets me into so much trouble. I second and third guess what I should have done/said. I want to do the right thing and say the right thing.

I want to be a good example.

I want to be a person who is constantly pointing others to Christ and not myself. It is so not about me.

But man do I mess things up when I get in charge of my little life! I just can't seem to help myself. I'm sure I know better. I'm certain that my way should be THE way that I charge on.
I'm certain God takes a lot of looks at me and shakes his head like I do when I look at kiddos sometimes.

Last night I helped out in XLR8, our worship and arts deal for kids. I've had my eyes on this one kid for weeks because she is just gloriously different. She just marches to her own drummer you know. I gotta love her because that is SO me. I watched her last night and while the rest of the kiddos were going through their motions she was turned around. She was still doing motions but she was like in her own little deal too - not looking up front at the leader. She was watching the other kids and just smiling. She smiles a lot - not a care in the world for my little friend.

Lesson there... because as adults when we take our eyes off the Leader it rarely finds us smiling. When I'm looking around at the other kiddos in my little dancing world it's usually a comparison of where they are versus where I am.

How the heck did they get married at 18 and I'm flipping 33 still single? Look at him, he has a beautiful house... why don't I have a house? Oh I'd give anything to wear that shirt, tucked in and not be self conscious about it.  All totally RANDOM examples of course my peeps.... I'd never bust myself out in a blog...  :O)

You feeling me here?

Why in the world can't I get my act together? I SO have my eyes on the wrong thing again!

It is so simple. But it is so easy to miss.

I am... where I am... because I am... where He has placed me.
I am... who I am... because I am... who He made me.
I am where I am in life... because I am needed... where I am.
I am not stuck, denied, lost or forgotten. God has not witheld, withdrawn, or forsaken.
I am forgiven, fulfilled, and loved.
God is not behind schedule in my life. He is certainly not early. I can be assured He is right on time.
These things will not change, because He will not change.
I am... where I am... because I am... where He has placed me.
And so are you!


:: MERRY :: said...

Love your straightforward honesty and also your faith in the LORD...