Well it's almost midnight. I came home after work exhausted. But I knew I needed some unplugged time. So I got the old journal/Bible and a new book I am trying to read. Book required watching a bit of video - enter laptop.... video will not play.
So I sit in silence for a while writing, praying, thinking and crying.
That seems to be my pattern so far for the last two weeks. I think I have cried more in that time than I have in the last year (and I'm a crier people... no one cries alone in my presence!).
Why the tears? I read somewhere that tears are cleansing. I mean that in literal terms. Tears wash out impurities from your body. Have you ever cried tears that literally burn? That is your body, doing its job.
I also mean it figuratively. Sometimes we just have to let things go emotionally. I'm the queen of trying to hold things in. I guess I've always thought that eventually there would be time for a meltdown. The time just never actually came. I hate crying in front of anyone. It seems weak (yeah I don't know when weak became a bad thing either). It means I am "out of control," not something I am ever fond of fyi!
Back to the tears, because remember - one thing really does lead to another tonight.
I've been in this flaky emotional state for a couple of weeks. Seriously when I came home at lunch today and cried the ENTIRE HOUR - I figured I had used up the reservoir. I was oh... so.. wrong.
At about 6, right before I decided I needed to unplug, I lost it yet again. Yep - good times!
So how does this lead to something else. I hit my moment of clarity about 4 hours later. It was something I started to get earlier and that revelation (if it's not ok, it's not the end) needed to lead to the second verse.
We're not home yet. We're not done yet. You still breathing? Yep, me too. Guess what that means.
We're not done yet because we're not home yet. Which means God's not done yet either! Now how exiting is that?
It ain't over, till it's over. And the fact that you're reading this means it ain't over.
Tomorrow when I wake up and take that first morning breath I will remind myself again that God is still working out His plan. What plan? You got me - that's His business.
Tell everyone I can what He is doing, has done, can do, wants to do (get the picture)