Joy - Advent - Day 20 - Week 3

Isaiah 45:3 - I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

This may seem like a weird place to start one of our last studies about Joy. But sometimes the biggest blessings and joys in our lives come from the darkest times. Here in Isaiah, God calls darkness a treasure. Wrap your head around that for a minute. The total absence of light... as a treasure. If you were a disciple in the first day after the crucifixion you would have had no idea that the best thing to ever happen to you would come from the tragedy of the days before. Who could have guessed that God would send help in the form of a tiny little guy, wrapped in leftovers, in a rundown stable? We seem to live in a perpetual state of darkness. If 2020 had a motto, I think it might be "The year where joy came to die." 
The treasure of darkness... riches stored in secret places. This many days into the pandemic, I think we all are starting to have an actual list of what we've lost this year. Worse still, most of us have a list of people we love that left us too soon this year. For me, it was the biggest personality known to my life... my Daddy. How can there be joy here? How is there a treasure here?  I just don't have it yet. I want to make that maybe plainer than I have ever made anything.
I don't have joy there yet. I do say yet... because I fully believe that joy will come back fully. We grieve, but God's word reminds us that, as believers, we do not grieve without hope. If you are grieving too... that's ok.
Tonight I feel so pressed to remind my friends, especially believers, that you do a GREAT disservice to Christianity and to your friends in general if you try to tie the Joy/Happiness bow right onto the top of your mess. 

Life is messy. You are allowed to be a mess too. You are allowed to grieve.  You are allowed to not be ok. These next few sentences may not be where you are right now.

THAT IS OK!!!!!!!!!  You can be "not ok." But please, don't live there.  <3

Only God knows what will become of your biggest tragedy. Trust that He will guide you through it and to the light of the third day. Joy does come with the morning.

Father,
For the hurting tonight, I pray peace. For the grieving tonight, I pray your presence surrounds them. As we run headlong into the week of Christmas, please give us peace. Please give us JOY. Please, give us You.
-Amen.

-Gina

Joy - Advent - Day 19 - Week 3

Colossians 1:10-12

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

What a good prayer. This one hits home for me especially today. In a normal year, the lead up to Christmas can be stressful. But in a pandemic... woof. Everyone is trying to make the best decisions for their families. Everyone is hoping for better days ahead. And here in the middle, we still find normal life... whatever that is.
When my life gets too crowded sometimes the first thing that seems to get crowded out is my patience and joy. I know all those verses about giving thanks in all things and they just go right out of my head when the dude in front of me is doing 30 in a 45... hypothetically...
Today if you are feeling less than strengthened with God's power I have a suggestion. Stop whatever you are doing. Yeah I know you're busy... join the crowd. Stop for a few minutes and ask God to bring you some joy and strength. I hesitate to say pray for patience because we all know how that one ends! 

: ) 

Father,
I ask that you bring some calm into our busy days today. Where there is impatience give us patience. Where there is sorrow bring us joy. And where there is weakness strengthen us. In Jesus name,
Amen
- Gina

Joy - Advent - Day 18 - Week 3

 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Christmas can be tough. Our topic of "Joy" seems like a tough thing to come by lately. There is a lot of pain and painful memories that get tied in with this season. Sometimes what should be expressly joyful becomes intolerably painful. If you are suffering this year I want to speak something into your season. I was talking to a new friend the other night and passing on a new lesson that I am learning this year and she gave me such a lovely picture. It's during these times of pain that we really need to snuggle into Jesus. My friend mentioned the quilts that she has and how she likes to snuggle up into them. So my word picture for Christmas this year is this: You know that warm, comfortable feeling that you get on a cold day when you are all cuddled up into a comforter or blanket? That feeling multiplied in safeness and warmth by a million fold, is what Jesus is offering for any season. But it's especially for the difficult seasons. He wants you to wrap yourself up in Him. He's a gentleman and He will not force Himself. How you spend these times is up to you? May I suggest you snuggle in for the season? 

Father,
Many of us are having trouble finding joy this season. This has been a year of loss for so many of us. It's still a season of uncertainty and even fear for many. Help us to trust that better days are ahead. Help us spend this week leading up to Christmas really tuned into You. Give us the Joy that is unexplainable, and help us to share it.
-Amen

-Gina

Joy - Advent - Day 17 - Week 3

John 16:20-22

I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

Words from a Man who knew He was going to die. He wanted us to know that we had something more to look forward to than this world. He wanted us to know that there is a time in our future when pain and grief will no longer exist and won't exist for us again. On a TV show I watched recently one of the characters was talking about a time when she had terrible poison ivy where it even hurt to be touched or to scratch. Her mother just told her that every time it burned or hurt... that very second... she was one heartbeat closer to the time when it wouldn't hurt anymore. She said "Hold On... This won't last forever."   

Hold on... This won't last forever.

Joy - Advent - Day 16 - Week 3

Luke 10:21

At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

Why would God reveal His wonders to little children instead of to the wise and learned? My opinion... my feeling... is that there is a point of too wise. Let me rephrase that. There is a point of being to wise in your own eyes. It's the God given wisdom of little children that has to come into play when faith is involved. We tend to over think everything. Our "adult" lives become mini-dramas because we take our wisdom and our lives too seriously. There is seriousness in life. There had to be from the moment that sin entered the world. At this season, where we celebrate a baby's coming into our world to change it forever, let us recapture the child-likeness that brings God this good pleasure. Your mission is this: There are now 11 days left until Christmas. In that time find one person and give them the gift of unexpected joy. It might be a special gift to someone who isn't expecting anything this year. It may just be a special letter or conversation. Let God reveal this thing to you and then... obey. That is His good pleasure. 

Dare Not Trust the Sweetest Frame

I love old Hymns. I love how a song written 150 years ago can still strike a chord in my soul and bring something totally new out.

Today, it was this one... interspersed with a song called Cornerstone.

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

The oddest thing hit me while singing it today. What does it mean to "trust the sweetest frame?

So I did what everyone does in 2018 and searched the web for it.

But there is really not a definitive answer. What does that let me do?

It lets me search a bit deeper for why I was so undone by these lyrics today.

Once again, for the hundredth time in the foster journey, we are faced with uncertainty.

Things can turn so quickly. And you can go from 1 child to 2 (or 3).... or none.

What is the frame that my heart/spirit is compelled to trust?

Today - slamming into me like a ton of hymnals - I realized it was my own planning.

See, I have the frame for our family all set out. I have the future set in a picture on the wall.

"This is what I want God... work within that frame ok?"

But I dare not trust even the sweetest frame.

My plans rarely work out like I think they are going to. 

I caught my reflection today in the car door as little man laughed and giggled as we drove home from church.  I am happy in this frame. I would be content to let my family stay this way exactly.

But that is most likely not the path we are walking on.

The sweetest frame.

This is the life I wanted. It's the life I begged God for many times. There are laughs I never could have scripted. There are lows I would have chosen to avoid. But there is joy, so much joy.

Sweetest frame.

My carefully laid out plans - that frame - can fall apart in one instant.

If my trust is in the plan, instead of the Author of all plans, I am set up for great pain.

Frames and plans will be broken. He, will not.

I will be broken. He will not.

So I dare not trust my own sweet frame... but wholly lean on Jesus name.

-Gina

Bouncy Castle Friends

Last night I did some thinking about the friends who have kept me rolling these last couple of years.
I have good friends. I have friends who have grocery shopped for me, brought me meals, done my laundry, and cleaned my house.
I've been so blessed to be surrounded, in all phases of my life, with good people.

Tonight I'd like to address a special variety of friendship that I am thankful for these days.
I call them Bouncy Castle Friends.  :O)
These are the people that I am certain would follow me even into the most insane scenarios "just because" we're friends.

I think of them as "Bouncy Castle Friends" because I'm certain the folks I'm thinking of tonight would happily toss their shoes and jump into a bouncy castle with me... you know who you are. I'd name a few, but y'all I have some crazy friends!

Some of my BCFs have demonstrated this kind of insanity. Some of them, well I'm just pretty sure we're going there some day. 

If you know me at all (and really... you should...), I like a good time.
I'm happiest when things are happy.  :O)
I can be serious, but who wants to do that all the time? Not. Me!

So here's to my bouncy castle friends and the many more years of insane joy that lie ahead.
I still plan on being a bcf well into my 80's... so stay healthy people.

Bounding and Bouncing.
-Gina

J-O-Y - Part Two

Previously on this blog…  :O)

You are pre-warned - this is insanely long!

So now I’m worried.
Well not worried - concerned? I honestly didn’t realize that so many of you would get SO caught up in waiting for news. Who knew that many (any) people would be interested? And now I’m thinking you’re totally going to be like “whatever” when you find out I’m not:
1.) Engaged (which was like 100 of your guesses - possibly an exaggerated number or possibly not - seriously people when that happens. There will not be secrecy there will be blimps, fireworks, parties and billboards. (do you know me at all?!?  :O)
2.) Moving
3.) Quitting or some other massive life change

But interested you were and engaged I’m not.

When last we left it was Friday night and I was desperately listening and waiting for God to move.

Friday-DAY I had so much work to do. I was entering checks, listening to classes, doing the normal Friday shuffle.
But God kept knocking.
And I kept having to put it off and feeling more and more desperate for the time to listen. I can’t explain this feeling.  I mean, I work at a church for heaven’s sake but I felt like I couldn’t stop long enough to process and had to just push it down over and over again.

Desperate. To. Hear.

Oh I am sorry I think this may get long because of how many things I have to explain to explain how COOL this was for me… and WHY I was so excited at the way so much unfolded. I’m tempted to break it up into another blog but I think some of you would kill me.

Years ago I started praying something very, very specific. It’s actually even pre-blog days so that’s why I have to explain and can’t just link. I started to pray for God to change my name based on Jacob wrestling with God and God changing his name. At the time I started praying it I didn’t have a complete concept of what it meant. But I knew I needed change. Over the course of that year (I think 2004) I realized that at that time my “name” was fear. I was afraid of so much in my life. I wanted my name to be (Fear Not).

Specifically I knew with no doubt that God was asking me to sing/speak in front of people something to which I had repeatedly said NO, NOPE, NO-WAY - uh-UH. You hearing me?  :O) I had tried. It had not worked. I had freaked out. I was afraid. And Praise Team? Please! all those thousand eyes staring back - ain’t no way folks.   F_E_A_R took over even thinking about it.

So 2005-ish (I need my journal here… and don’t have it) God radically changed my name via a super lady named Candi. She encouraged me to get on out there and start singing. Really this deserves its own post! This led to not only singing in a ladies group on the “big stage” on a Sunday morning in front of thousands but to leading worship at a retreat, helping to lead at other events, and in a step that is miraculous beyond the explaining if you haven’t walked the road with me, singing by myself at both a wedding and a church service).
All that led to me finally stepping up and trying out for Praise Team for church and being blessed to be able to sing actually hold a mic and sing in the place I had sworn I would never, ever stand.
That picture and thought still brings me to tears because it was so beyond me. I’m not the most talented by so far but to be able to be used was/is amazing.

See “fear” my old name had been changed to FEAR NOT. I marked that occasion (the first one) with a silver ring engraved with those words which I still wear. It was to remind me that no step onto any stage or podium will ever be my power.

Ok - enough back story - back to 2010 people.  Still here?

Friday night - desperation is setting in and I start praying for God to start to speak gently please. I can’t take radical this weekend. I have two finals and two papers. K? Thanks.

When I finally put head to pillow on Friday night it is with much prayer that God would reveal the whatever. And I’m thinking at this point that I’m getting a clue.
We’ve slipped a bit because there is a word that is back in my vocabulary in a big, big way.

Guesses?

Fear.  Afraid of what comes next. I’m graduating in December. What happens then? What will the next year bring? So many things seem up in the air right now and I and not in control.

Fear.  But God had already changed my name. What happens now? I’m a MESS. Is God through? What is next?

Somewhere in the middle of Friday I was sent a blog link to Travis Cottrell which I read on Saturday night

Now it’s long too - so I won’t make you read it (but you SO should)
But here is an excerpt:

“There is nothing God cannot do.

So in conclusion, please hear this: Fear not.

Fear not.

God has not left you. God has not chosen you to be the one who has circumstances or mental and emotional make-up that is beyond change. Your struggles, your mountain, your pain is not beyond Him. Who are we to ever be so presumptuous to think that we would actually be the ones who have issues beyond the reach of God's power?”

Gina Here again….
aka Fear Not.

WOW

I sat there - literally on the floor - just sobbing. Cause if you ever asked for God to just come right out and tell you something and maybe tailor it RIGHT to you. Well then there you have it.

Saturday night the burdens of numerous months lifted in moments because of one reminder.

Gina - I changed your name - Fear not. I’m not done with you.

Circumstances have not changed. Still have no answers but I am not afraid because God reminded me that he already changed my name.

Fear. Not.

Oh - and cause God’s just like that… and likes to reinforce reminders… I got to be on Praise Team THIS Sunday - i.e..THE Sunday that would be the day after He chose to rock my world.

And would anyone like to guess what Josh Stanbery’s devotional was for the morning of Sunday, March 14th for the Praise Team??
Cause you’re kinda not going to believe it people?  :O)
Really - you’re not…

Jacob - wrestling with God - and God changing his name.

Believe it or not - the 2 ½ page version that you just read/scanned IS the recap version. Because there are details that are too personal to recount for blog-land. And there are other details that I think I may share later. I can't help it. God is good and you don't want to keep that to yourself!!!!!

But let me rephrase what I said on twitter.

May I never get over: where God has taken me from, what He has brought me through and what He is doing! So good. He is SO good.

It's about the J-O-Y - Part 1

As promised a little peek at the weekend though I am sure that no words do it justice.
Let's just go back to Friday. We could go back further. But Friday was the beginning of this little joy-sprout so it seems like a good place to start.
Oh, maybe Thursday night.... yeah let's go there for just a second!
Ok - so my lack of sleep might possibly interfere with this little diatribe but some of you are just chomping at the bit!

Thursday night was a marathon of class watching and in the middle of it God started knocking. Sometimes God is subtle - He whispers. Sometimes, not so much and the Thursday/Friday combo was of the not so subtle variety.

I have been so stressed out about the details of everything working out. How am I going to get all these pages read? I have no more papers in me right now. How in the world can I write 21 pages? I have no energy. I have barely slept for weeks. I am spent. <---- Gina's mindset circa Thursday/Friday morning.

Knock/knock - God on Thursday  -
Hi Gina you're really stressing out here. You do realize you don't have to go this alone right?
Me - Eh - it's just a couple of paper, pages, no sleep, life is crazy, general things I can't blog about rightnownuttynessinsomanywayshtaticantevenfindspacesforitkindalife... I'll be fine thanks.
God - Ok

Thursday night I barely slept. Frankly I cried almost the entire night because I was so tired.stressed.frantic.tired.emotional.worried.TIRED.

Friday - Work.

Knock/Knock - God on Friday
I'm not sure exactly at what point in my day on Friday this occurred but I do remember walking over to my friend Tiffany's office and confessing I was fairly certain God was speaking and I had (GET THE IRONY HERE) no TIME to listen!
Somehow the day passed on Friday (if you Facebook/twitter) you noticed that God got some shots in there during the day as well) and I made it home determined that no matter what it took and even if it meant that something didn't get done, I was listening.

And Speak. He. Did.

Now I don't want to cliffhanger you - but I'm gonna - because this girl is working on 4 hours sleep. While it's been an incredible day (Thanks to many things and people) it's been exausting.
So I wanted to set your minds at ease (since some of you had some crazy, nutty theories that I had some insanely good news up my sleeves)
-G-night from G-Joy.