Hephzibah

I'm pretty sure that somewhere along the line I missed a memo.
It was the one that outlined some of the finer "how-to" points of womanhood... I don't know when it was handed out - maybe I was supposed to get it when we watched those "boys in that room, girls in the other" movies in grade school.
But I'm sure I missed a memo.
My friend Jill wrote a great post the other day that shocked me. See somehow I had decided that I just hadn't gotten my "I'm a grownup" badge because I wasn't married and mommy. I figured that still living solo in my solo apartment was what was keeping me feeling like a perpetual college student.
OH CRUD... maybe it's the fact that I AM a perpetual college student that has me feeling that way??!!??
Regardless when I read her post yesterday I realized again that no one feels as together as they look. When I used to teach one of my favorite reminders to people was that we compare other people's shiny outside persona to our deep intimate knowledge of ourselves.
Let's face it - no one, knowing their deep dark secretey (sorry spellcheck I don't care if it ain't a word...) places, can ever match up to someone else's shiny outside show.
Maybe that is why I so often fight to be who I am inside and out. Mind you I'm not going to spill every fault I've got. But I always want to be the kind of person that SHOUTS God's grace because, let's face it, this gal as been given a whole lotta grace.
You know who shouts grace to me when I think about them?

David - man after God's own heart... but also a calculated murderer, liar, cheater, schemer and adulterer.

Moses - led God's people from captivity... murderer - chicken - who even after seeing God in a burning bush still wasn't convinced that God could use him. "Hey God... how about Aaron.. he likes talking to people... I'll still go... but wouldn't you rather have him do your talking?"

Saul/Paul - leader of the early church - writer of much of the encouragement in the New Testament... multiple murder - torturer of Christians

Rahab - used to bring the Israelites into the promised land and in the genealogy of Jesus... prostitute

You seeing my pattern? God never used the person who was "most likely to succeed." God was and is all about taking messed up, frail humans who are no-one and using them to shine His glory and grace.

It gives me hope that I cannot express. Why?
Because the grace that Moses, David, Paul, Rahab and countless others received is just as fresh today.
Though we may feel completely unworthy, when our useless and frail lives are placed in His hands they can shout His glory.

There is nothing that you have done that can knock you out of that running. He loves you.

I'm thinking tonight that it doesn't matter how I feel. Yesterday's mistakes are past.
Tomorrow is a day waiting for me to wake up and be renewed by His life and grace.
It's more than I can take in honestly... because I am a woman who is sorely in need of some grace and renewal.
So tomorrow I am going to press on to the prize that is set before me. I'm going to keep running the race until it is finished. I am going to work on being Hephzibah (God's delight is in her) instead of Mara (bitter).
Regardless of anything else that I do, or do not accomplish in this life I desperately want to make sure that the end  it can be said:

Gina - Hephzibah - though her faults and failures were beyond listing, His grace was sufficient

2010... Broken

Some things for the record...
I intend to write here a whole lot more often than I actually do.
Believe it or not - what you do here is the censored version of my thoughts. My mom implies often that I overshare a bit... but I figure I am what I am (gug, gug, gug, gug - ala Popeye) and there isn't any use hiding it.

I have some thoughts rolling through my brain tonight due to my, for lack of a better term for it, broken feeling lately. Now for those of you who are my PARENTS reading this... I don't want anyone hitting a panic button that somehow things are desperately not ok. No one can rush in and fix me but the One who always desires and works to fix me.


Broken.
I just feel broken.
I posted on twitter the other day that I was feeling that way and I was desperate, running... broken.
I just keep coming back to that.
Broken.
In my mind I think the broken comes out in a lot of ways. I'm broken over a lot of things in my life (sorry you 4... but details are for the journal, not the blog) but I will say habits... words... just me being a faulty human and coming face to face with it.
But in another sense -
Broken
Because life isn't where it was supposed to be here in 2010. If you would have asked me in my early twenties I was certain where I was headed. By now I should have graduated, be counseling for a living, be married, have kids, have written a book or two... it's a much longer list of the "shoulda beens."

I had this picture in my mind tonight of a huge pane of glass in front of me. I imagined I had taken a picture of that life I knew I would have and painted it on that glass. I could see myself on that beautiful glass wall painting with her MA in Counseling and MDiv. She has the perfect figure and beautiful house behind her with the perfect family... perfect life.
Then somehow that picture got smashed into hundreds of tiny bits laying all around me.
Broken
The life I knew I wanted... knew God promised... shattered.

Oh but wait - something else is happening here.
One by one the pieces of the broken life are being picked up and put into another frame. It's one that started a long time ago. It's got lots of broken pieces as markers. But the picture being put together is so much more that what I could have imagined. Each broken piece fits back together into a beautiful stained glass window, a picture that only a Master Artisan could have imagined.
Though it wasn't what I thought I wanted, the broken pieces will form the abundant life, the one I knew He promised all along.
So I am ok... with being.
Broken.

Speaking of Waffles

We weren't were we?
No - ok good.
Just felt the need to get some end of the year words on here before December rolls out and 2010 hits.
2010 - How did that happen?
Doesn't it seem like yesterday that everyone was stocking buckets of water and cases of Twinkies in their basement for Y2K? :OP

This year has definitely had its ups and downs. I guess you can say that with any year. Somehow I didn't get all my goals hit. Didn't get as many hours taken as I intended. Just wasn't exactly what I had laid out.

But 2009 goes down as a full year of Gina and Al - good stuff.
2009 saw two good visits with the North Dakota crew - which rarely happens with them in the far, frozen north.
2009 saw lots of laughs with my Van Buren crew and no real scuffles (even with the 4th of July rain out).

All-in-all 2009's joys well outnumbered its sorrows and since I had named it "JOY" in the beginning I call that success!

So welcome 2010!
I vow to laugh more... hug more... smile more... pray more... praise more...
I vow to worry less bout what others think and more about what God thinks.
Really there are a bunch more thoughts in the brain tonight but nothing for y'all yet (all 4 of you) but I will say that suddenly I cannot wait to see what the new year brings.

Happy New Year!

There Should Be Warning Signs

You know that comedian who tells people "here's your sign" when people do something stupid?
I totally think that signs could be put to good use in many areas.
Like how often could I use a sign that said "Warning - Hormonal - Approach with caution..."  :O)
I'm not saying today was or wasn't one of those days... I'm just saying... it could be helpful some day.

Today was another tough day as we had our last choir rehearsal with Kim and Suzanne Noblitt. What a blessing those two have been to my life! One of the toughest things about working in ministry is that God shapes His people so often by moving them in seasons. This season has been extraordinary and I hate to see it end. The Noblitt's have such a passion for leading people to know God through worship. Both Kim and Suzanne just OOZE the Holy Spirit and they are a joy to know. I sure will miss them.

Also up today - did I mention the hormonal influx?  I know... TMI right?  I think everyone should be warned though you know... if you see me all weepy... HEY WAIT... I can totally blame it on like a Christmas song or something right? I seriously spent like 10 minutes composing myself at Sam's yesterday thankyouverymuch KLRC Christmas music. It had nothing to do with someone pushing the wrong verbal button... it was the MUSIC... yeah... music....
OY....
OK...

Night everyone.
G

A Christmas Story

My friend Eric is doing Christmas stories on his blog and asked for some submissions. It challenged me to get some of my thoughts together.

It was a few Christmases ago and my entire family was together for Christmas. This happens rarely for us now because my brother is up in the snowy north. But that Christmas his family had traveled down to be with us. We were all together. However as the token single in the family it never felt like the entire family was together for me because I always knew/felt that someone was missing.
That Christmas, maybe because we were all together again after so long apart, the missing person was a painful place in my heart. Now anyone in my family reading this little story will have no idea of that most likely. Because that fact and what happened next weren’t something I have shared until now.
Some point during that night it was time to settle in and I realized that I had left my overnight stuff and pillow out in my car. I needed some outside time anyways so I headed down the hill to my car to get them. Between opening the house door and the car door I started sobbing. It was a pretty good pity cry. It was Christmas. I was surrounded by my family but I felt so alone that it was overwhelming. I don’t remember my exact age at that time (easily 30 or late 20’s) but I had been praying on the way down this hill. Why am I still single God? What exactly IS wrong with me? I cannot go back in there again with everyone and be ok. I cannot do it.
Something caused me to look up in the middle of my little pity party and what I saw stopped me in my tracks.

Christmas night skies are somehow different - more magical. They are radiant. That particular night sky was the clearest sky that I have ever seen, with bright twinkle-stars, and in my view was my own breath in the chilly night air.

Perspective…

It was a moment of perspective for me that came from seeing that perfect moment of night sky.

Rewind 2000 years. Granted I am the first person to say that Jesus was most likely born nowhere near December 25th but He was born. According to Luke there was a night where the sky lit up and a host of God’s angels appeared to frightened shepherds announcing the birth of His Son. There was a night where a virgin gave birth to a Son. The same Son years later lived, endured, died, resurrected and lived again.
It’s not just a story.

Perspective… came from seeing my breath in that perfect night’s chilly air and thinking back to that similar quiet night. What a difference one night can make.
Unto us a child was born who would be the Savior of His people.
Somehow with that realization “alone” just slipped away and “loved beyond reason or deserving” came to replace it.

I stood there for quite a while marveling in God’s creation of the night sky and of my own very blessed life. It’s a vivid moment that I can still slip back to.
Merry Christmas!
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests”

If You Lived Here… You’d Be Home by Now

So I haven’t written in a bit. It’s been crazy. We do a LARGE Thanksgiving ministry here which I get the joy of helping coordinate each year. But while I love, love, love it - it kinda sucks the energy and time from my October/November each year.  This year we got to provide Thanksgiving meals for over 3100 families and saw over 5,000 people come through the doors of our two campuses.  Over 1,000 people came to a relationship with Christ with 111 of them following through with baptism. It was a great weekend.

But due to the “hustle and bustle” each year I hit December unprepared for Christmas to BE here already. The panic starts to hit me early and the starts to ebb as I settle into the season. This year things seem to have just been a bit more bustle-y. We got to celebrate my dad’s 70th Birthday with some neat surprises for him. Al’s birthday is coming up. Our Christmas program at church is the 13th. There are concerts and parties and lots of people that need to be seen in this next month.  Add to that the fun of my brother and his family coming in from North Dakota at the end of the month and you see where the craziness is coming from.

It’s easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle and forget what is important about this time of year. There are a couple of focuses but first… why the weird title?  :O)

I know not everyone who reads this little blog is going to be a Christ-follower. You know me (probably know me at least), then you know that Christ is my center and the definer of who I am and want to be. It’s a relationship that I take seriously. I’m not perfect. I’m definitely a world class screw up. But I am His with all my heart. I do what I do, how I do it because of Him. I write what I write, because of what He has done within me. Because of that I know that this world is temporary and it is not my home. The problems, battles, issues and crud that I face are things I face as I pass through to home. For some reason today as I was thinking through a situation that’s just making me sad right now I had this picture in my head of this sign I used to see all the time in front of an apartment complex: “If you Lived Here - You’d Be Home by Now.” It may seem like a strange comparison but I realized that a lot of the “people” battles I face are because I am a square peg trying to feel at home in the round world. If I “lived” here… I’d feel at home right now.  But I’m still trying to get home!

Meanwhile - back to Christmas.  :O)

Focus # 1 - Christ… for me this is the season when so many people are open to talking about faith. It is a great chance for me to share what I believe. We get to minister to so many people at this time of year. Christmas just opens those doors to share.

Focus # 2 - Family - like em, love em or tolerate em this is the time of year when we all get to be together for lots of extended time between November and December.  I’ve been blessed with family who don’t just like each other, but love each other. This year we will actually all be able to be together around Christmas for the first time in quite a long time.

For me personally Christmas traditions are important for a variety of reasons. I’ve always had in my head those things that I wanted to do when I had a family of my own. There are things that I have seen/heard over the years that have struck me as important, fun and/or meaningful. So here are some of those ideas. I would love to hear yours as well - all 4 of you! :O)

Reading of the Nativity Story - Certainly Christ wasn’t born on 12/25 - probably nowhere close to it. But if we’re picking a day to celebrate Christ birth then I definitely want to take time to remember it.

Watching for Santa - Now… I stopped believing in Santa when I was 3 probably because I have two older brothers with big mouths, but we almost always took a little drive (I know now it was so our Christmas presents could get into the house since we celebrated on the Eve and “Santa” had to come to our house early). We would go out and look at lights and dad would always see him somewhere. That was our cue to head back to the house. “I think he’s headed over that way.” It was a little inside joke after a while but it was fun and a great memory for me still.

Putting up the tree together on the Friday after Thanksgiving - I always did this for my parents before I had a place/tree of my own. I think it would be really fun to make this a family event because you can tell the story of where the ornaments and stockings come from. That is how family history is passed down, in the stories from year to year.

Making Gingerbread Houses - I got to participate in this family tradition with some girlfriends of mine with a lady that was mentoring us at the time. She does it every year with her grandchildren. We were like little kids making our houses. It was fun!!  And yummy. Even with little kiddos if you have pre-made gingerbread this can be a blast - and OH the memories.

Well I’m out… this blog has taken me off and on over a day now so I think I shall post!  :O)

Things Normal People Wouldn't Tell You - The Halloween Story

Not sure if it is wise to write this up while medicated… but since this is a Halloween story - I wanted to get it up in time for the big day.  :O)

This is probably another one of my brother’s favorites. It was also a turning point for me in learning how NOT to behave around boys.

My second year in Dallas for college I decided to tag-along to a haunted warehouse with my roommate and a bunch of other people. Key point - several of these people were boys. What a fun night right?
I love haunted houses, stupid though they may be… I think it’s the adrenaline.
But I usually think it’s a fun thing and a good chance for the girls to grab on to their fella and squeal.  :OP

So we head over to Fort Worth to this deal and stand in line forever. If memory serves it was 3 girls and then 3 guys.

Enter haunted house - now granted - it was a pretty good scare for what it was. There were some unexpected bumps.  But come on right… it’s not real… it’s obviously not dangerous…
ok?
Stage set.

3 Guys - 3 girls

Guy # 2 begins to absolutely FREAK OUT… freak the HECK OUT… ok… screaming like a banshee… and I kid you not actually get behind me grabbing the back of my shirt like a 4 year old in terror.

Well - I got a little bit… um…. annoyed…  :O)
So I end up pulling the entire group - both boys and the other two girls through the entire haunted house.
Now sometimes my mouth kind of does its own thing y’all… it’s a whole lot better than it was 10 years ago believe it or not.  But in the middle of said haunted house… pulling these big brave boys behind me… livid…
All I remember is screaming repeatedly “Be a man… be a real man.” and other such gems - the entire way through… “Be a man”

They never called again… go figure.  :O)

Yeah… My brother almost died laughing when I told him that story and he still sometimes likes to yell “be a man” at me as a reminder.

Why in the WORLD Can't I....

I keep thinking that eventually I will get the hang of things or that things will start to make sense.
It's a weird feeling to feel so much like you have things together one minute and then realize - wow I'm a big ole dork the next.

I guess - such is life. In looking back over things you realize that it is rarely good to look back over things.  :P
Or something like that!

I think my introspective side is part of what gets me into so much trouble. I second and third guess what I should have done/said. I want to do the right thing and say the right thing.

I want to be a good example.

I want to be a person who is constantly pointing others to Christ and not myself. It is so not about me.

But man do I mess things up when I get in charge of my little life! I just can't seem to help myself. I'm sure I know better. I'm certain that my way should be THE way that I charge on.
I'm certain God takes a lot of looks at me and shakes his head like I do when I look at kiddos sometimes.

Last night I helped out in XLR8, our worship and arts deal for kids. I've had my eyes on this one kid for weeks because she is just gloriously different. She just marches to her own drummer you know. I gotta love her because that is SO me. I watched her last night and while the rest of the kiddos were going through their motions she was turned around. She was still doing motions but she was like in her own little deal too - not looking up front at the leader. She was watching the other kids and just smiling. She smiles a lot - not a care in the world for my little friend.

Lesson there... because as adults when we take our eyes off the Leader it rarely finds us smiling. When I'm looking around at the other kiddos in my little dancing world it's usually a comparison of where they are versus where I am.

How the heck did they get married at 18 and I'm flipping 33 still single? Look at him, he has a beautiful house... why don't I have a house? Oh I'd give anything to wear that shirt, tucked in and not be self conscious about it.  All totally RANDOM examples of course my peeps.... I'd never bust myself out in a blog...  :O)

You feeling me here?

Why in the world can't I get my act together? I SO have my eyes on the wrong thing again!

It is so simple. But it is so easy to miss.
FOCUS, focus, FOCUS

I am... where I am... because I am... where He has placed me.
I am... who I am... because I am... who He made me.
I am where I am in life... because I am needed... where I am.
I am not stuck, denied, lost or forgotten. God has not witheld, withdrawn, or forsaken.
I am forgiven, fulfilled, and loved.
God is not behind schedule in my life. He is certainly not early. I can be assured He is right on time.
These things will not change, because He will not change.
I am... where I am... because I am... where He has placed me.
And so are you!
-Gina

I have NO Pictures

But I had a great night last night!  :O)

I got to meet one of my blog stalking people - Kelly from Kelly's Korner!
Al was pretty much poking fun at me from the time I saw her and her family sit down- like four rows in front of us. Because I was talking about how cute Harper looked and then Angie came and joined her and I went a little weird....  :P    And I know he's thinking - who is this girl I am dating... and why does she know so much about these people that she has never met!

I was so excited for Kelly and Angie to be sitting there and talking together!  How fun for two women who have shared some joys and pains to be able to just sit and gab.  :O)  God is so good to us.

Meanwhile - back to my own blog stalking...  After the concert - because I didn't want to interrupt - I went up to Kelly and introduced myself and told her how much I appreciated her encouragement for all the single girls! She was so sweet.

Meanwhile - (why I keep using that word... I do not know) the concert was incredible! I love Selah and have for some time. Seeing them in concert was surreal. They sang almost everything that I would have hoped for. And at least one song that had me just weeping.  If you haven't heard "Unreedemed" go and find it.

In fact I will go and find it and link it at the bottom here.  It is God's promise to me, has been since the second I heard it.  He is faithful to remind me of it at all the right times!

Of Football and Papers!

I think I can... I think I can...

Well it is Saturday morning and I am going to get back into the swing of things by hitting the paper trail. I have a BIG one due in just a few weeks and TWO due next weekend.

Yeah - I think today would be a good paper writing day!

Today started off at 6 am - snoozed until 8 am. I've not accomplished a lot other than breakfast and dishes so far - oh - and Sports Center.  :O)

Well anyways - I'm off the blog-writing so I can start the paper writing.

Happy Saturday y'all!

G

I need to update

I need sleep.
I NEED to do homework.
I need to graduate already.

I need about 3 days worth of quality time with my Al.

Time is just flying by way too quickly with no way to hit pause.  :(

Whiny = me tonight

Really things are fine. I'm making some major "lifestyle changes." I'm trying to decide on taking the last half of the semester off to realy dig into implementing them.

I'm thoughtful. I'm confused. I'm pensive. I'm wordy but speechless.  I'm conflicted!

But did I mention sleepy? Yeah - sleepy wins.

Night friends!
G

Things Normal People Would Never Tell You - I “Run Into” People - Part Two

Not embarassing so much...just falls into the category of people I run into and where I manage to run into them.  :O)

Senior year of high school I had my first job pushing papers in an abstract office in Van Buren. This would end up being possibly the best job ever by the winter because Main Street VB (where our office was located) ended up being used as a movie set for a movie called Frank and Jesse.
Line up for this movie:
Randy Travis
Bill Paxton
Rob Lowe
 
The year - 1994 - January to be precise.

My boss was a huge Bill Paxton fan. But he was a lawyer so he had important lawyer-type things to do.  I was a minimum wage high school student whose school was out for the week due to snow covering the ground. The trailers for the above mentioned men - right behind our office.

This is what we call the perfect storm!

Yep.  I got paid for almost the whole week to stand around and stalk actors until I could get Bill Paxton and then get my boss to come out for a picture. Jeff (my illustrious brother and partner in crime) was there for almost as much of the time to take pictures - I think he snapped most of what you are about to witness. In the meantime I also got to see lots of scenes. I got to talk quite a bit with Randy Travis and get autographs and pictures of almost everyone - almost everyone.

See… this was just a few years after an unfortunate incident for Rob Lowe that happened to involve teenage girls - so you can imagine that he avoided me and the other teenage office assistant like the plague!  :O)

We did get a picture of him on his way to his trailer surrounded by his entourage. I know - you LOVE my cheesy captions right?!

I’d call him a snob but really considering what he was coming off of I guess I don’t really blame him.

Bill was elusive as I mentioned which required a bit of skulking but when we got the pictures - we got them. AND we got them signed. And we got the boss some signed stuff to.  :)  Note the classy, trendy coat I have... oh wait... I SO have to post a picture of the nature scene sweatshirt I have underneath this deal!

Randy signed several pictures... talked to me quite a bit actually and took some time to actually write out a note to me after he found out it was my senior year - nice guy! (It was a pleasure meeting you - God Bless! - Randy Travis)

Gina - who has no clever sign-off for this one... but has one more - really good picture of Bill - in which you can see the magazine he made sure was in every shot.

Things Normal People Wouldn’t Tell You - “They Tip Over”

This goes down as one of my all time most embarrassing moments. Mostly it was embarrassing because it took place surrounded by people who I was only just getting to know and if memory serves one guy that I had a big crush on. Don’t ask me who because I won’t tell you. :O)   Sadly I am realizing at least one of my "best of" stories cannot hit the blogosphere because someone is involved who would "die... she would just die" if she had any clue of her involvement.  And yeah B... I know that just told you what I am referring to!

My brother plays a part in this melodrama because in high school - well pretty much all the way until he abandoned me for college we were together a lot on the weekends.

On this particular night we were at Denny’s and I was showing off/trying to be funny.
The sequence of events changes with the telling but the basic memory is that we were all done paying our checks and heading out the doors.

Now me, being me, was telling a story on the way out the door about something. You know most Denny’s have their handicap ramp as the main entrance (maybe that was just ours). So on our way out the door we were walking… and talking… and laughing. The story somehow involved sobriety checkpoints and tests. Now considering that I have had little to no alcohol in my life and at that point had had absolutely none, we all know that I was stone cold sober for what happened next.

Gina says: “Haha… no officer… I can walk a straight line… look” - then I proceed to walk down the ramp right foot over left. Really I should say that I attempted to walk that way because it really, really didn’t go well for me.

Somehow in the mix (with crush behind me somewhere) I manage to trip over my own feet and tumble full force the rest of the way down the ramp.

My brother and loving, loving friends rush to my side and caringly pick me up run up to me laughing hysterically. I’m not sure how long I lay on the concrete with my bruised elbow and pride before SOMEONE finally thought they maybe should ask “are you ok?”

I’m a faller - I fall… it’s what I do. I have fallen off of porches, sidewalks, down stairs, upstairs and on flat pavement. If you are walking beside me and I vanish chances are that I am lying beside you somewhere - and yeah - I’m probably ok.

Thus ends the lesson

- Gina Grace

Things Normal People Would Never Tell You - I “Run Into” People

Some people look for greatness.
Some people have greatness thrust upon them.
Some people run into great people - literally.

I could break this section down into presidential, future presidential and other celebrity sections; but we’re going to skip my brother “almost” hitting future President Clinton with our car (I say if the man touches the car it spells a hit but we argue on this point) love ya B… and go straight to my own stories.  It’s all about me!

I have a knack for finding famous people in unusual places. If you are going on vacation with me you can almost be assured of some sort of unusual occurrence (Christi will vouch I betcha after she almost got hit by a van in NYC… come to think of it I almost got hit by a car in Ukraine too - wait I’m sensing a theme!) and some of them are of the celebrity variety. 

Who could forget former Major Koch almost nailing Christi, Dale and me with his car door in the middle of NYC? We’ll skip the “Mrs. Mayor” female impersonator that was also on that trip.

Then there is the almost insane oddity of being in Israel and having John McCain and Senator Lieberman outside the Holocaust museum. Seriously thought some of us were going to get shot that day screaming “we’re from Arkansas” but I won’t go naming any names on my little blog.

China - I swear I saw Yao Ming in our hotel - really can you mistake an almost 8 ft Chinese man?

Memories…

I digress.

We’ll narrow this story down two my two very literal run-ins with former President George W. Bush.

Run in ONE
I take you to Gina’s first semester in Dallas, Texas. This was well before I became obsessed with politics and definitely before I had any clue who George W. was. I was just getting used to living away from home and fending for myself. I’m pretty plucky though. I’m also well… let’s just say a tad clumsy.  BOTH of these things play a hand in this first scenario. I’m guessing it was summer because the cafeteria was closed. Somehow I had managed my way past security and been utterly oblivious to all the commotion on campus. Stinking Student Union was a bit crowded - but the café was nice and empty. So I headed on in to order dinner.
I quickly rounded the corner and SMACKED right into then-Governor Bush.
You know that chuckle - the one he is either famous or infamous for based on your perspective. Well the man was chuckling mighty hard.

Me - I had NO CLUE what I had just done. For all I knew he was just some guy in a nice suit. Even with all the security it just didn’t dawn on me that “hey this guy just might be important.” I’m sure he said something. I’m sure I said something. But it wasn’t like it was noteworthy to me at that moment. I figured I had run into a professor or pastor or something so - whoops - so sorry.  Ha- ha - be careful… ha ha.

It was only later - like that night watching the news that I realized the Governor of Texas was at DBU. Then up comes the picture and enters my mortification!  :O)
Yep - Gina almost ran down the Governor of Texas.  Good times!

Run in TWO
I take you two a non-descript hotel somewhere in North Carolina… I think North Carolina. It was during the presidential debates. I was up in the room when I realized that I forgot my toothbrush. What’s a girl to do? Jeffers was with me (love ya B) and offers to go downstairs with me to buy one at the gift shop. Can’t remember why it was a must have at that exact moment but it was. So we get downstairs and I’ll be darned if the gift shop and half the lobby aren’t blocked off. I can SEE the shop and it is open so I start kinda begging to get over there. Somehow during this process we find out that the candidates for the debates are fixing to come through. So we decide to plant ourselves right there and see what we can see.

Now who should come right in front of us but Future President George W!  If I were stupendously quick-witted I am sure I could have some up with some great line. As it was… I just worked with the woman in front of me. She said something to the effect of “I’m telling all my friends to vote for you” to which his response was a big hug. I believe I said something equally brilliant like “hey - all my friends are already voting for you - or I’ll tell all my friends to vote for you - can I get a hug?”   And he obliged.

Oh yeah - I’m a DORK.

I think I’ll come back tomorrow with a few of my other run-ins which are of the non-presidential variety. Those are a bit more stalkerish and less entertaining… but I have pictures!  :O)

-Perilous Pauline

Things Normal People Wouldn’t Tell You - Getting Rescued at Camp

In the scheme of things this particular yarn isn’t embarrassing NOW… but when you’re away at band camp and always feel a little bit outta place anyways… it doesn’t take much to push you over that edge

I was spending a lovely quiet evening in my room for some reason. I’m thinking there was a dance or something. Being the always socially awkward gal in junior high and high school - dances were like punishment for me so I steered clear!

I actually had no idea that there was a problem so there is no telling how long I was locked in my room before realizing it. My roommate came back to the room and tried to use her key - didn’t work. She knocked so I popped over to open the door - nope.

Jennifer went to get someone to try and help us out. We’re still figuring it’s no big deal. But “no big deal” turns shortly into an ordeal. No keys work - the lock is “frozen.” It will not even come apart so they can open the door. I am STUCK in my room.

Y’all have been to camp right. It doesn’t take long before word spreads and there is a little crowd down beneath our window. Why?

Because word has spread that “some girl” is locked in her room. Now evidently it is too late at night for a locksmith to come get me out of the room. So the plan becomes get enough stuff for the night for roomie and myself and climb across to the next room.

Yes - I said “CLIMB ACROSS” to the next room…

Yeah - that’s not embarrassing at ALL.




So college student/resident maintenance man at Pomfret comes across with Jennifer into the room. SPIKE (not kidding - actual) - helps us get our stuff together and get out of our window - across to the other window and back inside.

Now folks - did I mention there was a crowd down below? Well there was. The crowd including I think most of our band, the directors… and others that I did not know.
All of whom were shouting up helpful information about not falling - taking care, etc. I do remember Mr. Jones, trying to be helpful yelling something up about taking care of his flute player.

= mortification

Oh… my…

Since that year also included another (yet to be published) incident I got an award that year for “clumsiest girl.” Yep - nothing says love like that right?!

-Lucky Lucy

Things Normal People Would Never Tell You

So today I decided to start blogging some of my “only Gina” stories. Cause I always think that people know these things then realize that you don’t! :O)

We all know I tattle on myself anyways.

My family calls this particular epic the “Water Bottle Incident”

I was traveling from Colorado Springs back to Fayetteville by myself in February a few years back. The month is only important in that it was cold and I had a heavy winter coat on in addition to a purse and a carry-on bag.
The other important thing to note in this story is that I had bought a large liter water bottle in the airport that I was carrying around with me.

Now we also all know that when you are traveling by yourself you have to keep everything with you at all times. You can’t go leaving your bag somewhere when you need to go grab a magazine or something.

You also cannot leave your bags or say your gigantic water bottle somewhere when you have to go to the restroom.

So when nature called and I answered I had to be a little creative.

I get in the little airport stall with the purse, backpack, heavy coat, and water bottle and proceed to start to find space for everything so I can… ya know… do what needs to be done.

Coat off - backpack on the hook - but what to do with the water bottle? There is no shelf for the water bottle. There is however the handy toilet paper dispenser. Sure it’s round but certainly it’ll balance for a bit right?

Wrong - very, very wrong.

More important things that everyone needs to know.

1. When setting something round on top of something round, chances are that it will not stay put for very long even if it looks well balanced.

2. Bottles of liquid very rarely fall straight down.

3. Bottles of liquid, especially plastic ones, tend to explode when hitting tile.

4. Law of Gina says that when said bottle of liquid hits the floor and explodes it won’t do it in a convenient place… like in its own stall.

5. Law of Gina also says that the person next to you in the stall will in fact have pants down… but this will at least save maintenance from mopping the floor later.


Dear Woman Next to me in the St. Louis Airport Bathroom,
While I do not know you I have felt badly for you for years. No words can express my look and gasp of horror on watching an entire liter of water soak you as you innocently sat doing your… shall we say… business that afternoon in February. Sure I should have said something more than “oooh…oooh… sorry.” Certainly, I might have come out of the bathroom earlier than an hour later, but let’s face it, embarrassed doesn’t really cover a moment like that. I did look for you - the lady with the completely wet pants. Cause yeah - you just pulled up and left - how did you manage that anyways? I didn’t even hear the blower going to dry you off?
Sorry - I got distracted. While I cannot make up for your discomfort, you did give my good friend Crystal the perfect idea for a new line at Hallmark the “Sorry - I wet your pants” line. I think it will take off like gangbusters in airports. Seriously this has to have happened to someone else? Well - me and the lady who dropped her gun in the bathroom and shot the woman next to her.
Come to think of it - waters not all that bad huh?
Again - sorry

Sincerely
Betsy Wetsy

A Whole Lot of Nothing

I have nothing to say
Seriously
I have tried for days to come here and be witty, funny, thoughtful, profound, wordy, or anything.
I am at a loss.

Oooh - but you know what I have had an abundance of this last week or so if we just want to be good and honest about it - is the slightest hint of a pity party.

And in bloggyness - or lack of bloggyness (come on spellchecker - that is too a word!) - that comes off as what I am now going to coin blog-pity or possibly blog-envy.

Wanna guess how that showed up? The reason that I have nothing to blog about is because I have (enter melodramatic sigh here) NOTHING… nothing to blog about. Did you hear me?! I’ve been praying God. What is YOUR DEAL?! HA!

Told ya I was having a blog-pity/blog-envy party. I decided when I was driving to work the other morning that the reason I was having such a difficulty coming up with something brilliant to say was because I had no family here in casa de Gina to write about. I have no cute pictures of little toddling ones around my house to post. There is no other person doing something crazy or funny in the next room every day.

Just little ol’ me here and let’s face it - I’m kinda boring! :O)

Oh - so the pinnacle of my newfound blog-pity hit me the other night on the way past my pitiful pile of dishes in the kitchen. (Can’t you keep up with these - it is just YOU living here) I had one of those just lonely single moments. (Would you get a look at yourself in these unmatched pjs)

What’s ironic about this is this perception that I think some people have of the single life. Now other singles may live this super suave-together “drinking coffee in Central Perk” life - this single lives a “so busy I can’t even keep up with where I am much less actually do my dishes” life. Funny no?

Oh - so back to my blog-pity point.

Isn’t it funny how Satan can creep in with disharmony in the family of believers in the lie of “the grass is greener over there trap?” FYI - no idea why I’m using so many quotation marks!

Single people often look to the married side of the fence with envy. Married people (or so I’m told) fondly remember single days or wish this or that was different with the children or spouse. Why couldn’t I just have this God? Isn’t that just the way things work? So many of you desperately want children… and some of you would love to hand your little darling off for a bit.

Yeah - I do have a point! Life is what it is. God has you where He has you. Let’s face it. He has you where He has you for a reason and/or a season. Nothing lasts forever! If you have a kiddo that is making you nuts you have ahead of you the day when you will leave them in a dorm room or walk them down the aisle. Be thankful that you have them where you have them. If you have a silent house now because the kiddos are gone you can look back on memories of laughing kiddos and look forward to visits with them as adults with their kiddos (and sending them home all hyped up on red dye and sugar!).

If you have a silent house now because you’re single remember that God has given you a season where He wants you all to Himself and rejoice because new days are ahead!

Nothing ever lasts forever even if sometimes it feels like it might. Life is all about seasons.

So blog-pity is done now that I have unloaded it. We’ll just see what we can find in this little corner of the web to say about my actual crazy life that doesn’t contain anyone toddling on my floor or snoring in the next room. It does contain plenty of things to be thankful for… plenty of people that I can blog-tattle on (watch-out Al! just kidding)… and plenty of randomness in my brain.

I’ll try to hit this place more than once every other week.

That’s all for now

-Suzy Sunshine. :O)

In Which She Shuts Up a Bit

I’m not a fan of silence.
Have I mentioned that before?
Yes - I am an extrovert. That means in general I like things to be bubbling - preferably bubbling around me. :O) But I don’t just mean silence in that sense. I am not a fan of silence in life either.

This shows up in two ways that are worth noting.

First - I am all about answers. If we’re in Bible Study together you can count on me to be the person who can only stand the awkward pause so long before needing to chime something in to the mix. Silences are excruciating. There is too much that can be said and should be said. However the older I am getting I am also learning that there are lots of things that should not be said. There are lots of pauses that need to be extended. God and I are working on me listening more in those moments and thinking about what I might need to say less.

Second - I’m all about background noise. This is actually where I was tonight that brought my little blogging brain into the mix. I had things to get done tonight. Ok… not really much outside of a bit of tidying up and some cooking. Oh - and maybe some facebooking (c’mon spellchecker - that is so a word!). While I went about my business I hit my favorite source of background noise- HULU! I very rarely just watch anything so I was doing that and 9 other things.

Noise - lots and lots of noise

Then I hit my blog rounds and found something that stunned me into silence on Kelly’s blog.

Unredeemed

Suddenly God had my attention again and I hit silence… actually I hit worship for about 30 minutes in that moment and then have continued in silence. Something about a holy moment that you just don’t want to break you know?

Since you already have a few posts down my conversation about some things in my life that God is working on redeeming. And there is more - there is so much more. I drove home today listening to a song from a new cd that was all about God’s redemption.
Love Story

God’s redemption - stunned into a silent moment.

Why? It is because God doesn’t only speak in screaming moments. He does sometimes. Sometimes He is in the storm speaking. Sometimes He uses calamity. But wouldn’t you much rather hear the whisper? Man I would. It brought to my heart these verses that I have always loved.

1 Kings 19:11-13
The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
_________________________

God wasn’t in the mighty wind or the earthquake. He was in the gentle whisper. Tonight I so wanted to hear that whisper that I shut everything off. It is still off.

Silence - scary - still - quiet - silence

Why scary? Scary because God has so much work left to do here on me in these quiet moments. Scary because I am remembering a prayer this time last year that required brokenness and finally realizing these thousand shattered pieces and my tears of the last few months are the answer to that specific prayer.

God has done so much with my little that I am stunned into silence.

Actually this night deserves a bit more quiet and a bit less bloggy-ness - night y’all.

God is so good!
Silence. :O)

In Which She Writes - Because She Cannot Sleep

I have a goal - rest. I am sure I will get around to it sometime. :) Maybe after graduation....
No I fully intended to hit the sack early tonight but I got caught up talking with some friends. So I got home late, wasn't tired, had to catch up on Facebook, or whatever the excuse is.

So now I have decided to come over and blog a bit. When last we spoke, well next to last, I was headed out of town to pray over some of my future details.
I know everyone is dying to know what I discovered so here you go.

Nothing

Profound isn't it? Really I learned a lot, just not about what I thought I was headed to learn (See previous posting). What I did hear clearly on future wise was that I am where I am right now for a reason. I keep asking a lot of "but what about next year?" questions but we're not getting that far.

Back when I used to write my daily devotionals I had a favorite word picture that I used to use.
It comes from Psalm 119:105
Psalm 119:105 (King James Version)
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Being the detailed person that I am something jumps right out from this to me. The promise is for a lamp at my FEET. God's not promising the whole Coleman camping lighting package. Typically God's guidance doesn't come in the form of a 19 step manual of how to get from point A to point Z. You get the beam - directly on the path in FRONT of you getting you from point A to B.. then C... Then D... sometimes you get D to G. :O)

You're seeing my point right?

My little reminder was that I may not have everything mapped out, a prospect that Gina the controlling, list making freak is not a fan of fyi, but I do have C to D. When D is close to being done (get it... D = Done...) then the beam will head to E. Until then I am going to be content with the Word lighting my feet one shuffle step at a time. One thing is for certain, if I continue to focus on the Word lighting my path and stop trying to see where point "M" fits into the picture then I am a whole lot less likely to stumble.

Here endeth tonight's lesson.

Night all. :O)
-G

In Which Memory Lane Gets Rocky

Couldn’t wait to share! :O)

As I sit here starting to write this it is 1 am on Saturday morning and I am winding down a pretty incredible weekend. I think when I look back on this weekend one of the words I will use is amusing. Because I came up with a good idea of what I wanted God to speak to… and He had a completely different plan.

Just hours after I started this journey I started out in the car in a pretty down state. Things did not get off to the best of starts (won’t bore you with details but it involved a twisted ankle and a bill I thought was paid that wasn’t). I was determined not to waste a minute though so I started praying and singing as soon as I hit the highway. This would be the moment when I realized God’s plans and mine were about to not “mesh.”

Have you ever had a spot in your heart or memory that is like a nerve? It’s like you can prick it from time and feel that pinch of pain. Every once in a while you do it just to see if it’s still there. But as long as it doesn’t really bother you - you don’t bother it either. On the drive up I had one of those spots lingering in the back of my memory. This is a place down memory lane that I felt was well traveled y’all. Seriously it is a place that I felt like God and I had visited enough that we’ve marked our stone. We came. We saw. He conquered. I had the scars you know… He had the glory. But on the drive up here every time I would touch that memory again the tears would flow.

You know I’d love to tell you I threw the door open right there but I gotta say I was still hoping that we weren’t gonna go there. Oh - how - wrong - I - WAS….

We started off this morning (Friday) dealing through some of my agenda. Check… check… no concrete plans but that gentle guidance that I’ve come to expect. Peace - stillness… wait - there is that whole “not-meshiness” again. Why are we revisiting that God? We’ve been there remember? We did that? Don’t you remember?

I’ll fast forward a bit to let you in on a little secret that I’ve learned… sometimes when you drop things cause you think you and God are done with them… you and God are SO not done with them.

About 15 years ago or so I walked up on a conversation taking place in a Sunday school room. I heard my name being mentioned as I was walking up so I paced up a bit slower and the words that I was about to hear set me up for some major devastation. Since I’m 33… and God and I are just now revisiting and dealing that’ll fill you in on some of the finer points of the conversation. Let’s just say without too many details that people can be seriously cruel to other people. The gist of what I came away with as a mid-teenager was that I was unlovable, that probably no one would ever really love me. Now check that - I filed that away.

Pressing the pause button here - as I blog this there are a couple of things going through my heart:
ONE - I know that some of you are gonna immediately need to hit reply on this. People, I know I am loved but loved was different from being worthy of love in my mind. As I sit here tonight, er, this morning, I actually know that this little gem is a total lie. But I’ve been living with this track in my brain fighting it for YEARS and now that it is identified and shut down I wanted to shout a bit about it.

Hi, my name is Gina, and I am loveable. :O)

TWO - The church I grew up in is a part of me, but mostly not in a good way. There are some great memories of things that God taught me from my time there. But there are frankly a whole lot of more painful ones that God and I got to work past. But that past holds no regret for me. God is good and His plans are so much better than the ones I would have chosen.

I thought a lot about whether to share this or not. If you’ve read this far, and honestly I know lots of you won’t, :O) then the take away message is that a lot of us fall for early lies that color things for us later on. God’s desire is to set us free from that. May not be easy to find yours… but maybe, just maybe if you’re driving along one day you’ll discover it if you’re asking. My advice for that moment is to RUN to His healing and let it go.

I’m all about sharing lessons learned. Once upon a time, probably because of the environment that I grew up in church-wise, I always hid. Hiding is so much easier. No one can criticize you or make fun of you if you don’t ever poke your head up above the crowd. But God has not called us to easy life. God has called us to abundant life. You can’t live that life when you are hiding.
God has not given us a spirit of hiding and fear. He gave us a spirit of self-confidence and love.
Live it y’all. Worth it!